Look At Me

Chapter 22

I spent my days in reading fictional books. The whole summer break isn't that exciting for me except that I don't have anything to do. After enrolling that day, after Reanne told those words, my mind didn't rest in thinking if it's possible.

Pakiramdam ko ang bata ko pa para isipin ang ganitong bagay pero noong 12 years old ako at nakilala ko si Gray ay mas malala ako. I mean, I like gray for almost five years. Mula grade 7 hanggang noong grade 11, aaminin ko na gusto ko si Gray kaya lang biglang napasali si Zen sa eksena para mawala kay Gray ang utak ko.

Tapos na ang summer vacation namin at bukas ang first day sa school. Wala pa ako sa wisyo para mag-aral ulit pero dahil laging magulo at nag-aaway ang mga tao sa bahay ay mas gusto ko na lang pumasok para maiwasan ang ingay nilang lahat.

Magkakasama kami nila Reanne noong isang linggo dahil sabay-sabay kaming bumili ng mga gamit. Reanne asked my parents if I'm allowed to go out, well, because it's Reanne they can't say no. Plano namin nila Reanne na magpantalon at mag-white shirt na lang bukas dahil first day pa lang naman. Hindi pa namin nakakausap sila Lei at Reina dahil hindi sila nagbabasa ng mga chat sa GC at kahit sa private message.

"Tita, sabay tayo pumasok bukas ah!" sigaw ni Sheena, pamangkin ko, nang pumasok sa kwarto ko.

"Oo, magpatanghali na tayo bukas." sagot ko, okay lang naman 'yon dahil orientation lang bukas at ang walang katapusang introduce yourself sa klase. Usapan din namin nila Reanne na magpatanghali para sabay-sabay na kaming pumunta sa room.

I can finally do everything I want without being watched. I spent my life here limiting myself from everything because I know Kuya Raze is watching me, he'll tell everything to my mom-- the way I speak, the way I sit, the way I laugh-- and that's suffocating. Ngayon, wala na si kuya Raze sa school namin dahil college na siya, he took Civil Engineering.

Maaga ako nagising kinabukasan, hindi dahil excited ako o kung ano, nagising ako dahil sa away ng mga magulang ko. 4 am yet I'm wide awake because of my dad's voice. Nagsisimula na namang manginig ang kamay ko dahil sa takot. If I tell you.. I'm scared to my father and I hate his voice, will you judge me? Kinuha ko ang unan ko at tinakip ko sa tainga ko, there's no point on listening to them. I'm just hating their voices day by day.

Maingay sa school, lalo na at may mga new students. The grade 7 students are all loud and excited to tour the school. Some unfamiliar faces can be seen, some groups are having a chitchat, some are asking many questions about our school.

Nang magkita kami nila Reanne sa tapat ng guard house ay wala na kaming mapag-usapan dahil magkakasama lang naman kami n'ong isang linggo. We've decided to go to gymnasium for the orientation, hindi naman kami nahirapan na makita ang mga kaklase namin dahil sila Chantal pa rin naman ang mga 'yon.

Nagkatinginan kaming apat nang makita si Lei at Reina na kasama sila Joyce at Jaimie. They are talking and laughing, when they saw us, they nodded and smile at us. We're close to Joyce and Jaimie but not that close so it's a shocker to see Lei and Reina with them.

"Welcome back, students! Welcome to our new students, we hope you enjoy your stay here! We're glad to see you all here, how are you feeling? Are you feeling excited?" the SSG president energetically exclaimed, the students answered by saying yes, but some said no, some didn't answer.

"Kingina nakakapagod pumunta sa room natin," sabi ni Phillie habang nakatingin sa stage kung saan may nagsasalita na teacher at SSG officer.

"Kawawa tayo kapag may sunog." komento ni Xy. Sa fourth floor kami ngayon kaya talagang nakakapagod umakyat doon araw-araw.

"Liparin niyo na lang, araw-araw naman tayong lutang." biro ni Reanne, nasa dulo kami ng pila para hindi kami mapansin ng bagong adviser namin na nagkukwentuhan kami.