Look At Me

Chapter 35

Life is so unpredictable. It's like running in circles. Went through ups and downs. Some nights are becoming sleepless nights. That's how life works, I guess. It's not easy. It's not all about the rainbow.

Days became weeks, and weeks became months. Christmas and New Year passes just like that, and now we're facing the cruelty of final examination. Nursing are really challenging my whole being. Hindi lang utak ang nahihirapan sa'kin, maging ang emosyon, at mental health ko nasusubok na.

I've been experiencing breakdowns while reviewing. The pressure is no joke and I could only cry and do whatever I can. Isama pa na hindi ko madalas makausap ang mga kaibigan ko dahil busy din sila.

I'm thankful that Phillie visited me during her birthday. Hindi kami nakapunta dahil para na kaming pinapatay sa mga course namin. Nursing and engineering are so demanding of time and effort.

I thought anatomy was easy for me because I like it, but now.. I just want to curse the subject. Halo-halo na ang tumatakbo sa utak ko kaya nahihirapan akong mag-focus sa pag-aaral.

"Drink up, sleepyhead." Zen suddenly popped up out of nowhere. May chocolate drink na hawak ang lalaki.

"Why are you here? May klase ka, siopao." I said, watching him sat down. I yawned as I took the chocolate drink in his hand.

"Saw you sitting here, besides my class is over." he shrugged his shoulders.

"Sana all." sabi ko. May isang klase pa kami kaya kahit antok na antok na ako ay pinipilit ko pa ring gumising.

Nakaupo kami sa isang bench habang hinihintay sila Prince na nagpunta sa cafeteria.

"You should go first, mamaya pa kami. You need to rest," sabi ko habang nakatuon ang mata sa libro. Mas makapal pa ang mga libro namin sa mukha ko.

He looked at me with those cold eyes but I know him better, he squinted his eyes at me-waiting for my reason.

"Mikaeyla texted me. Nagpapasama sa'yo. Hindi ka daw nag-re-reply." I stated in a monotone.

"Sinong kasama mo uuwi?" he asked.

"Si Llyn at Prince," ngumiti ako at sinabing umuwi na siya. I know he can't resist his younger sister.

"Text me when your class is done."

Nang makaalis si Zen ay bumalik ako sa pagbabasa habang naghihintay kila Gillene na kinain na yata ng cafeteria. I'm in the midst of waiting for them when I received a message from Gillene.

Gill:

pst dto kami sa room. akala namin dto kna.

That was just a simple text message, pero hindi ko maiwasang mag-isip. It's clear between the six of us that I'll wait them here. I told them that I'll wait them so they better go back here and we'll go to our classroom together. Masamang pag-isipan ko sila ng kung ano kaya ginawa ko ang lahat para maialis ang mga tanong sa utak ko.

I close my books and took my things so I can go back to our room. Paalis na sana ako ng matanaw si Prince na palapit.

"Sia!" tawag niya sa akin. I tried to act like normal at the moment I look at him.

"Oh? Akala ko bumalik na kayo sa room..?" tanong ko.

"Sila lang," he shrugged, "tara na." he turned his back.

Zen's best friend is now my friend.

We didn't talk, we just let the silence filled us. I don't know, wala rin naman akong sasabihin. I don't want to use Phillie to strike a conversation with him. He's a good friend, may topak nga lang din. It's understandable, lahat naman ng tao may kanya-kanyang topak sa buhay. 'Yong apat sa room, 'yon ang hindi ko alam ang trip sa mundo.