Look At Me

Chapter 26

Christmas break passed in a blink of an eye, and now we're already back to school. Readying for the examination and preparing for the final defense in the end of this semester. We're up to our neck and it's damn tiring.

January pa lang at sobrang nakakatamad pa pero hindi kami pwedeng tumigil muna dahil pagkatapos ng exam ay magpupunta kami sa mga university na gusto naming pag-apply-an sa college.

I still need to talk to my parents about the course I want. Ever since I was open to them about my dreams to become a doctor and they didn't show any signs of disagreement nor agreement about it. I'm planning to talk to them this weekend and I am hoping for the better.

"Philomena Isle, mas madalas ka pang absent, anong meron?" tanong ni Reanne kay Phillie na katatapak pa lang sa room.

Kapansin-pansin talaga na madalas siyang wala dahil tahimik ang paligid, pati ang mga teacher namin ay nagtataka kung bakit.

"Wala," sagot ng babae saka tumawa bago maupo. Hindi siya nagsabi ng kahit ano tungkol sa dahilan niya, basta na lang niya nilabas ang phone niya at ginamit 'yon. Bumaba ang tingin ko sa pulso ni Phillie at pansin ko ang ilang sugat d'on, namumula 'yon at halatang bago pa lang.

I wanted to ask her why.. I want to know her reason but I chose not to.. not because I don't care, it's because I don't want to see her lying in my face. I know how hard it is to open up.. I know how hard it is to voice out your real feelings because it feels like words aren't enough to describe what it truly feels.

I sit beside her and rest my head in her shoulder like I always do. "Hoy, bakit? Problema?" tanong niya, I shake my head and chuckled.

I should be the one who were asking that, Phillie. I'm your friend.. your ally.. you can tell me anything.. and everything..

"Hoy, Reanne, umiiyak ba 'to?" baling niya kay Reanne na matalim ang tingin sa kanya.

"Siraulo, hindi!" sinimangutan ko si Phillie, she was laughing like nothing's wrong. What a good actress.

"Ang tamlay mo, eh." she shrugs and laugh.

"Kailan ba naging hindi matamlay 'yan? Kita mo ngang laging tulala." sabi ni Reanne, tuluyan nang hindi sinali sa usapan ang pag-absent ni Phillie dahil alam niya ring wala siyang makukuhang sagot.

"Hindi ba pwedeng inaantok?" I scoffed and they just laugh.

"Hindi, Sia. Alam namin kung ano mukha mo kapag antok ka lang at kung may hindi ka sinasabi." sabi ni Xyrill na tinanguan ni Phillie at Reanne.

I shrugged and changed the topic, "Anong university ang uunahin nating puntahan?"

"CLU na lang siguro. Wala pang post sa facebook 'yong ibang university kung open na sila." sagot ni Reanne, madali pa lang naman ang gagawin namin dahil ipapass lang ang mga requirements na kailangan at to be announce naman ang entrance exam. I'm planning to apply in three more universities just in case I didn't pass.

"Hindi ako sasama," sabi ni Phillie kaya binalingan namin siya.

"Hoy, bakit?" tanong ko, pati si Reanne at Xyrill ay naghihintay ng sagot mula kay Phillie.

"Wala lang, balak ko sa City College of Tagaytay, eh." sagot niya.

"Try lang naman, ayaw mo?" tanong ni Reanne.

"Oo nga, Phillie. Sama ka." singit ni Xy sa paulan namin ng tanong kay Phillie.

"Hindi na," she laughed, we already know in this moment that we can't change her mind.

Nang makaramdam ako ng pagod sa pagsasalita ay nanahimik na ako. I put my earphone and rest my head on the table. Pinabayaan naman ako nila Phillie na manahimik dahil sanay na sila na ganito ako. They respect that side of me. They are making fun of it but I know they respect that.