In The Wilderness

Chapter 2: Dzaddy Alert

Savannah

The days passed like a blur, the only thing I could remember were the small arguments that I had with Rence after he said sorry that night. Kung dati ay iba-iba ang puno ng away namin, ngayon naman ay ang lagi niyang pag-gamit ng cellphone. Look, hindi ako controlling, it's just that isa o dalawang oras lamang kaming nagkakasama dahil busy siya sa on-going project niya habang busy ako sa sarili kong mga pinagkaka-abalahan. That being said, he uses his phone whenever we're together, either watching a movie or eating. It seemed like he was always busy texting.

I tried to be understanding, pero naging problema na iyon dahil kada manonood kami ng palabas ay nami-miss niya ang kalahati noon sa sobrang busy niya sa cellphone niya. Ni hindi niya napapansin na nagku-kwento ako sa kanya kapag kumakain kami kasi nga nag-te-text siya. So, of course, nasisita ko siya. I asked him sino iyon at bakit sobrang importante ang taong iyon. Nainis siya na nagtanong ako, tinawag pa niya akong 'controlling' dahil daw pati ang pakikipag-bonding niya sa mga kapatid niya na nasa military ay pinapakialaman ko.

I was taken aback because he never told me that it was his siblings and all I did was ask and he threw me all these words. So, of course we had an argument that again almost led me to leaving him because I promised Kat and to myself that one more fúck up from Rence and I will end it all...

...but then as he held my hand, cried and begged for-god-knows how many times...I gave in again....because I am still stuck on that vicious cycle.....

God. I hate myself for it but he became sweeter and less harsh through the next few days...only. He explained to me that he was in fact texting his siblings na nasa military. Kinailangan nilang mag-train for six months, they had their phones taken away for that, and now that their training was over, they got to take the phone back and they texted him continuously.

The graduation happened, of course, no one came from my family side because I don't have any. Hindi ko nakilala ang mga magulang ng nanay ko dahil hindi niya sa akin sila nakwento at wala siyang mga litrato na nadala dito. Brandon's parents were dead and he wasn't close to his siblings. So, basically, mag-isa lang ko. Noong una ay syempre nakakapanibago subalit nasanay na ako sa mga nagdaang mga taon.

Graduating alone is not sad since I know my parents were proud. I wasn't completely alone because I have Kat and her mom who came all the way from North Dakota. Wala ang kanyang tatay dahil pumanaw ito noong fifteen siya. I guess, one of the many reasons why we clicked is that we had the same experience in some areas of life and one of them is losing our parents.

Mrs. Hudson is a beautiful, kind, caucasian middle aged woman. She's a kindergarten teacher. She's very sweet and even gave me flowers from her garden as part of her graduation gift.

Rence on the other hand was busy with his family, especially sa mga kapatid niyang kagagaling lang ng training. His mom doesn't like me very much but she was still casual. His father was okay, and his siblings greeted me.  After introducing me to them, I felt invisible because they were talking about family things. I get that he missed them very much and so, I just sat next to Kat and Mrs. Hudson. As the ceremony continues, Kat is talking shît about Rence and giving him dagger looks any chance she gets because she doesn't like him.

I shrugged it off because Kat is Kat.

When the ceremony was over, Mrs. Hudson took a picture of Kat and I with our degrees. She looked so proud as she scrolled through the images that she took. I wanted to visit my parents' graves with Rence but he looked really busy with his family and they were already planning to go to the restaurant to celebrate. Kaya naman sinabi ko na susunod na lang ako dahil gusto kong bisitahin ang mga magulang ko. I thought he was gonna come with me but he just nodded and got in the car with his family.