Drop the Ball [Completed]

Chapter 31

Chapter 31

I am back to work and thankfully Hunter didn't showed up again infront of our house, he really do as he said. He's that type of person and mas okay na iyon diba? hiningi ko iyon sa kanya and he's just doing me a favor.

It's been 3 months now I guess? sobrang bilis ng araw. I haven't heard anything from him na kahit si Kamila hindi na sya binabanggit sa akin, para akong nanibago sa paligid ko.

Hindi naman kami ganoon tumagal ni Hunter but he reminds me of everything kaya kapag may nagtatanong sa akin if okay lang ba ako. Hindi ako sumasagot kasi alam ko na kapag sinabi kong oo, niloloko lang ang sarili ko.

Sabi nga ni Yujin, pwede kong lokohin ang iba pero wag ang sarili ko and I know I wasn't okay. The last word that Hunter told me always hunts me.

'Sorry for lying but I'm not gonna regret na pinuntahan ko si Khaz that night, she needs me there ... I need to be there to save her.'

'She has anxiety, she tried to kill herself that night. She called me, She's crying and told me na magpapakamatay sya kapag hindi ko sya pinuntahan'

'I really do love you and it's not my intention to hurt you kasi when I courted you I promise myself to just make you happy.'

'I just can't believe na ang bilis mo akong sukuan pero bakit pa nga ba ako magugulat? you don't love me enough in the first place.'

Those words are like inimical knife, stabbing my heart, leaving scar within. Don't I really love him enough to not listen to him and give him a chance? kasi sabi nila kapag mahal mo ang isang tao kahit anong mangyayari pipilitin mong intindihin sya pero ayoko kasing maging tanga. Ngayon hindi nga ko tanga pero hindi din ako masaya.

Hunter is the only person that could make me genuinely happy, just having him around me makes me really happy. He's my home and without him, I feel homeless.

"Mary, hindi ba si Khazzandra iyon?" Sabi ni Samantha nang nakalabas na kami sa elevator, kanina pa uwian but we always take a one hour overtime since naghahabol kami sa deadlines ng mga manuscript namin.

Tumingin ako sa tinuturo nya at nakita ko nga si Khazzandra na nakaupo sa couch sa may lobby, she was looking down while stamping her feet as if ang tagal nya nang naga-antay doon then nang pagtingala nya ay mabilis syang tumayo nang makita nya ako.

Hindi ko sana sya bibigyan ng pansin kasi baka iba naman iyong sadya nya dito pero tinawag nya ako.

"Mary ..." She said bago naglakad palapit sa akin, binulungan ko si Sam na mauna na sya bago ko hinarap si Khazzandra.

She smiled at me awkwardly, she's really pretty even with a simple dress, she still manage to look expensive. Ito na naman ang insecurites ko na sumisigaw ng 'look at you Mary, anong laban mo dyan? sobrang ganda nyan.'

"Do you want to grab coffee with me?" She asked.

I nod at her kasi baka meron syang gustong sabihin. Ayoko naman magtanim ng galit sa kanya, kung may natutunan man ako sa buhay ay iyon ang pakinggan lahat ng bawat side bago mag-judge ng isang tao.

Hunter says she's not mentally okay and mental health always matter, sobrang hirap kasi iyong tipong nagi-struggle ka sa anxiety ng mag-isa ka lang. Many times ko na iyong naranasan because even I wasn't mentally okay, lahat naman siguro tayo may mga times na hindi tayo okay and it cost 0, to check on someone sometimes.

Pumunta kami sa isang coffee shop na malapit, we ordered a coffee. Khazzandra is always been nice, she's not the type of girl na magagalit or sisigawan ka. Sobrang hinhin nya, she's so classy. Wala talagang rason para magalit ako sa kanya dahil lang ex sya ni Hunter.

"How are you?" She asked after she take a sip on her coffee, she ordered double shot espresso habang ako iced coffee naman

"Okay lang." Sagot ko, ngumiti sya nang tipid.

"I was just here to tell you something before I go to US to study there. Mary ... Hunter loves you. He's not the type of a person who will cheat, kahit sa akin." Umpisa nya, tahimik lang ako at hinayaan syang mag-salita. Marinig ko palang ang pangalan ni Hunter, natatahimik na ako

"I know that he never cheats on me kasi bago ka pa man nya nakilala nakipag-hiwalay na sya sa akin nang maayos. Ofcourse hindi ako pumayag, he's just someone I wanted to end up with. We dated for 5 years, almost living in. My family knows him, his family knows me. We build our future together pero wala e, he fall out of love maybe because I'm being too much to him. I boss him around, ask him to do things na ayaw nya namang gawin. I controlled him for those 5 years, people may think that our relationship is perfect but it wasn't really as it is. I'm immatured, I hurt him physically kapag napapa-paranoid ako. He's just really done with me at hindi ko iyon matanggap." Pagkwento nya.

"That night ...!I was really not mentally fine. I was mentally breaking down because I still want him but he doesn't want me anymore. Nami-miss ko iyong dati, 'yong tinuturing nya akong prinsesa. Just seeing him doing with you all the things he usually do to me, breaks me. Sobrang nami-miss ko sya, I am desperate that I told him na kapag hindi nya ako pinuntahan. Magsi-suicide ako. Diba ... sobrang desperada lang? kahit ako nga naaawa sa sarili ko." Dugtong nya, she tried to laugh at her statement pero tahimik pa din ako.

I didn't know that she's going through that kind of pain, okay naman kasi sya sa social media. She's still posting as if she's living her best life and knowing her side right now made me realize how fake social media is. Sa social media kasi puro good things lang ang napapakita pero iyong dark sides hindi, kasi sino ba namang magfe-flex ng dark sides diba?

"Coach told me that Hunter don't attend their practice anymore, hindi na din sya nagpapakita and I was aware that it's because of your break up. Hunter is not the type of guy who will skip basketball. He loves basketball, Mary. It's his life and knowing na nagiging ganito sya, ewan. I want to check on him pero alam ko namang hindi ako ang kailangan nya e, I know that it's you kasi hindi naman na ako ang mahal nya. I just go here to clear his side, he really loves you that he begs me na wag ko na ulit gagawin iyon. Na palayain ko na sya kasi hindi ko sya deserve, na mahal na mahal ka nya at ayaw nyang masaktan ka dahil lang pinupuntahan nya pa din ako kapag nagiging desperada ako. It hurts ofcourse but it makes me realize na I should just let him go kasi alam kong nahihirapan na sya sa ginagawa ko, I love him and I want him to be happy even that happiness is no longer belongs me." Tumawa ulit sya nang mapakla after nyang sabihin iyon, she's so hurt. She stand up and gives me a smile again.

"Please think about it, Mary. Alam kong mahal mo pa din sya. Give him a chance, he's really a good guy. He deserves all the love in this world ... Anyway, I'm going. My flight is in 1 hour." Sabi nya pa bago ako iniwan doon, I just watch her habang palabas na sya sa coffee shop.

I want to consider all the things she told me pero gusto ko munang pag-isipan nang mabuti.