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19 3 14
                                    

yeonjun tugs me around the corner, a little way away from the crowded hall so that we're out of sight from everyone.

"what has happened?" i ask him.

he looks down at me. "this happened, chaewon." he says, tapping play on some kind of recording on his phone. i recognise the gentle piano chords, but can't quite place them. it's not until i hear my own voice softly singing that i realise what's happened.

am i just nothing now

am i just a little toy

just his simple distraction

to push around and destroy

does he enjoy playing tricks on me

like turning sparks into flames

does he like vexed signals

and the fucking mind games

my eyes widen. that's the voice memo i recorded days ago. no one was supposed to hear it, i just did it in the moment. that was after he was ignoring me and making me feel worthless, and i was considering just leaving this place all together. now, leaving here is that last thing i want to do.

"i can't believe you." he says. "you recorded a demo for the producer without me? you didn't even check with me?" he says. "even worse, you made me sound like a complete asshole, people are going to think i'm hurting you-"

oh god, this seems like i did something awful. it's all wrong, that's not what happened. i can't have him think that i would do that to him. no one can think that. it's not like that. "yeonjun, wait-"

"why would you do that?" he says. "i thought we were together in this? you're my girlfriend for gods sake, and you sent off a demo about me being-"

"yeonjun, i didn't do that." i start saying.

"didn't do that? that's your fucking voice chaewon." he says.

"no, i mean, yes, i recorded that voice memo, but that was days ago." i tell him. "i didn't send that off, someone else must have done it from my phone, i swear. i wouldn't do that, yeonjun. of course i wouldn't. why would i?"

"how would someone have gotten hold of your phone?" he asks.

"i don't know, at the garden party?" i suggest. "people were passing it around and taking photos, didn't think anything of it." i say.

"so you're saying someone went onto your voice memos at the party and leaked it?"

i shrug my shoulders. "i don't know, yeonjun, but i swear i didn't do that. honestly. look, take my phone." i say, passing it over. "look what date the voice memo was recorded." i say. "and go onto the dm with rider stewart. i never sent anything to him."

he looks at my face, not at my phone. i can tell he's trusting me now, without having to go through it all on my phone for proof. "sorry." he says with a sigh, realising he had a little outburst.

i look up at him. "okay, we have to fix this before you can even start." i say, thinking that we're going to have a lot of arguments if he carries on like this. "if i've upset you or annoyed you, or you think i've done something, instead of getting all angry and snappy at me, can you just talk to me calmly about it first?" i say. "otherwise we'll just be that couple who's arguing constantly."

he nods his head glumly. "sorry." he says again, instantly feeling guilty. now i feel bad for making him seem all regretful and sad.

"it's okay." i say, my hand on his arm. "i would've been annoyed if i thought you did a demo too, i get it." i say.

he glances down to my hand on his arm, knowing he just wants to be able to kiss me but he can't. not in school. but then i see his face just goes 'oh screw it' and he kisses me. butterflies. tingles. excitement.

"you're fucking kidding me." we hear a voice. the worst voice. elena's voice.

my head swings down as i curse under my breath, and yeonjun's head whips straight towards her. "elena-"

"no." she says. "no, no, that's it." then she's marching down the hallway.

oh shit. oh god. oh no. no no no. no no this can't be happening. this cannot be happening. yeonjun and i glance to each other in a panic, before quickly hurrying after her.

"elena." yeonjun says, now we're back in the hustle and bustle of the crowd, in plain sight, for everyone to see and listen in. no. no. no.

she ignores him, walking straight for the main office.

"elena." he says again, breaking into a little jog to catch up with her. "elena, stop."

there are faces all following the action, eager to listen in to the drama.

yeonjun catches elena's arm, and she whips around facing him. "don't! don't you dare!" she shouts, now almost everyone is staring and i wish i could just disappear.

"elena-" i say quietly.

"shut the fuck up, london, i've had enough of it." she says, and everyone in the hallway is taken aback by the outburst.

the principal comes out from the office after hearing the noise. "what is going on here?" he shouts. he's tall. he's terrifying. he's the exact kind of guy you would imagine to be the absolute villain of a principle.

"yeonjun has been hooking up with his exchange partner, i just saw them kissing in the hallway." elena says to him quickly before anyone can stop her.

my heart pounds, stomach swirls and palms sweat. hooking up? why would she say that? my breathing shakes and i feel everyone's eyes burning into yeonjun and i. it's over. i could cry. this is it, everything was going so perfect and bam, the end. i'm going home. it's over. it's actually over.

yeonjun swings his head back, clawing at his hair. "elena what the fuck?!" he shouts.

disappear. just disappear. happy thoughts. what happy thoughts could i possibly think of while the whole hallway is in silence, watching everything fall apart? my heart is rattling in my ribcage, and i find myself frozen stuck.

"language!" the principle shouts at yeonjun. "i've had it up to here with you, choi. all three of you - my office, now!"

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