Lost but found

Chapter sixty four

Novas POV

" I need to see you're badge and please tell
Me the reason you're here today?" And I stuttered because what else can I do " erm well it's in the trailer and I need my charger and we'll Lizzie didnt wnat me home alone?" Ans he shook his head " miss Olsen had no kids so no I don't by it, I swear you kids have got no shame I'm sick of it" he said And  he tried to take my arm but I was about to yell at the top of my lungs " get off me old man" I said he stopped " no you're coming with me to the office you're in deep trouble" he said trying to move for me but I moved back but saw a hand I saw  someone pull him away from me " you move away from my child or else" I heard that familiar raspy voice and I sighed thank god she came to my rescue although shit I don't want her to be at my rescue . " miss johansson what are you doing here?" He asked slightly stunned that  she stood infornt of me " stopping you from touching my child I swear you even try that again I'll break you're hand and sue you" and he nodded "she didn't have a badge " and Scarlett turns to look at me " I said it's in the trailer" and she turned back to the man " so no you failed to listen" and I huffed " hypocrite" and she sighed I don't think she heard me " go away and don't come anywhere near my girl" she said and I nodded but this was way to close i wnat space " nova you okay" she asked me and I nodded " erm yes fine I'm gonna go" and she spoke " wait novie please can we talk baby?" Ans I scoffed " what you get that old fart away from me and think I forgive you? Or that I forgot? Because I didn't ask for you're help and I didn't ask for you to come into my life Scarlett and I don't think you under that no matter what I'm never gonna see you or want you as my mother okay!" and I saw hurt wash over her face and a tear fall down her face but she nodded " I do love you novie. I really do my love" she whispered and fuck did that hurt me. But she turned away and walked until she was in her trailer. Oh crap. I looked back at Lizzie's trailer and I sighed I'm gonna regret this later.

I walked towards Scarlett's trailer and I didn't knock I just opened it and I winced I could hear crying nooo she's supposed to be in the wrong why did I have to speak. I can't walk away I know I can't. " scarly" I said softly walking into her view and she looked so lost. Like her eyes were so distant and she looked dazed. " scarly!" I said louder and she looked at me " novie" she whispered and I nodded " it's me" and she put her hand over her mouth " I'm sorry" she said in a broken sob and I sighed " hey it's okay I get it okay. You can't love me and I get it just don't beat yourself up about it Im a big girl" I said and she shook her head " no I swear nova  I didn't mean that. It came out and I didn't even know why " and I scoffed " you said them to hurt me" I said and she looked at me but she put her hand on my face " I went through so much to have you and I went through so much after I lost you. I just wanted you back baby" she said and I just sat there confused what? " what do you mean?" And she sighed " I- I can't tell you" and I huffed " ofcourse you can't I don't even know why I'm here" I said getting up but she took my hand and I tried to take it back but she pulled me back to sit " no wait I can't let you go please peach please I can't lose you they can't take you I can't" she said she wasn't making any sense but she'd pulled me into her and was holding  me tight " I can't lose my baby I won't lose you" and I pulled back she's not telling me what's going on " Scarlett please" ans she nodded " when I was pregnant with you I was having manic episodes I was just not sleeping  and I was happy and energetic. And then I had you and I lost you. I couldn't sleep. I lost you whne I slept. I just couldn't and well no sleep leads to a lot of things, but I ended up being hospitalised and they told me I had post natal depression" and she laughed but I just sat wordless " I mean no shit right? I lost my daughter how would I not? But no one saw it as that they just saw me. I got better ish not really but when I was pregnant with rose I was so scared. I- I thought about not even going through with it which I hate myself for because she's helped me so much. I guess I got over that guilt as she grew up but I can't stop feeling guilty for you. I lost you and I wanted to be there for you and I wasn't"And I nodde I was still being held by her but now she's gripping onto me and I know she has more to say " when I told Colin everything he told
Me what help me get you back. That he knew I would find you and when I did I just wanted what I could have had. I just wanted the life we could
Of had novie. I missed so much of you're life and I hate the thought of missing more because it makes me physically sick. You're all that matters to me you, rose and Cosmo and I know what I said was unforgivable but please know it's not true in the slightest. You're always gonna be my green eyed baby. I can't change what's happened only what's going too and I really hope you can forgive me when you're ready my love"

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Till the next chapter my loves❣️