Hating You to Love Me

3. Ashley

"Be my Girlfriend."

Those words were all I needed to lose my mind. Coming from whom? Alex? My heart skipped a beat. No, he must be joking for sure. But that serious expression of his stirred a hope in me. But nothing made sense. Then it was followed by a Sigh from his side.

"I mean, pretend to be. At-least until I win the old woman's confidence that I won't die as a bachelor." He stepped closer. One more step, and he'd be covering the difference between us. My breath was still hitched as I let his words register in my head.

"This is not some joke Alex that you can play on me. Leave!" My eyes stung as I finally understood what he was referring to. For me to ACT? As his girlfriend?

"I am serious. I need you for this. I don't know someone else who can pull this off, not so soon. I have just one more day and I will have to see granny." He muttered and I could see that seriousness in his eyes. He meant it but why would he do that? Ask me?

"But Alex, I have my own reasons to refuse this offer. Moreover, what do I get out of this?" I gulped, knowing that If I were to tell him my reason, he'd just leave. And I knew Alex, he was insensitive. What was the use anyway?

"You get to pay me back Ashley. We'd be even. And when it's over, you wouldn't have to worry to pay me back anymore. Just live peacefully, living your dream, away from me." He sighed and I felt his words burn into my skin and into my body.

Pay him back? Yes, I had to one day. I promised him but why this way? Killing myself for him sounded easier than knowing that I'd have to spend everyday closer and closer to him, pretending to be someone he loved. I knew how it'd end and I feared I would end actually falling for him. I could not take the risk knowing he'd never return my feelings.

"What do you fear Ashley? Falling for me?" He stated taking another small step forward.

"That's not possible Mr. Alexander Norman. Never." I wanted to step back but I couldn't. I felt the shelf. I stopped, leaning against it even more. Afraid if he would step closer, I would lose my head. Not the second time in the same day.

"Then what you have to fear at all?" His voice sent me to the edge. I feared no one, not him.

"Fine, I'll do it." I breathed audibly. He paused and then he smiled. "Could have said it earlier." He muttered and he leaned forward even more. His face and inch away from mine. His breath brushing my lips as he looked down.

His one hand touched my jaw and a gasp left my lips. "Never forget what I did that night was just a favour that we can never be even for. I took all the blame, spent six months locked in the basement of my house. All for you Ashley. And I fucking hate you for how ungrateful you are after all these years. I fucking hate you!"

My eyes shut and his words seeping in my ears like a whisper. He didn't have to remind me, I knew it already. I knew how much he despised me after what I did. After how he took the blame for my sake. "Please Alex, don't remind me. I already am aware." I didn't want to break in front of him. I didn't want him to know how I was hanging on a thread.

"I didn't have to remind you but myself. I have to hate you Ashley cause if not..." he stopped and I wanted to know why couldn't he stop this game. Every-time, he reminded me. In the same manner, every-time.

His breath brushed my skin again and again. He was trying to calm himself. I knew it. His head touched mine. His anger riled inside of him made me want to cry but I held onto it. It hurt but I didn't know what I truly felt. He was so close but so away. His games made me hate him, his games made me like him. I had always been confused and always would be.

My tear rolled down my eyes. I was afraid he'd know. And my fear was the truth. My tears touched his hand holding my face. "Fuck you." He whispered and quickly retreated.

"We will be gone for a few weeks. Pack accordingly. Will pick you up by 1pm tomorrow." He muttered as he turned his back to me and sprinted outside.

My tears rolled down my eyes as I sobbed. Not caring if anyone could hear. I sniffed. I hated him to make me feel like this. I hated him to make me feel awful. I hated that I was even attracted to him. How could I even forget that he was the same Alex who used to made me feel worthless.
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I rushed out of my bathroom. My robe hugging my body and my wet hair hung low. "No! No! No!" I was running so late, and Alex was already there. Ready to pick me up. I instantly opened the door. I was right, Alex was there. Dressed in his casuals.

A white oversized t-shirt and his blue jeans. Damn, he looked hot. I eyed him and he returned my stare, rather cold. My heart skipped a beat. "I am sorry, I woke up late. Just five more minutes." I spoke instantly because I knew he was pissed.

Especially after what happened last night, it'd last for at-least a week. And I knew it, like every other time. He eyed me and I noticed how his eyes stopped on my face before they went down to my bare legs and then up again.

I quickly walked inside, avoiding his stare. I shut my door and locked it. I leaned against it. Quickly, I put on my sundress, did my skincare and let my hair open to dry by themselves. I didn't need makeup cause I knew, it was just a flight. I carried my jacket and put my sneakers on before I walked out.

He was standing by the kitchen counter as he picked the sandwich I made earlier. He was casually eating it and I didn't know why it made me feel weird. "These are not for you!" I frowned and he passed me a look.

I noticed the slight pause in the movement of his mouth. "You think I care? I skipped the breakfast." He kept chewing as he looked down at his phone in his other hand. I pushed my handbag and suitcase outside.

I walked in front of him, packing the leftover sandwiches in my paper-bag to take with me. "Let's get coffee at the airport." I suggested and without any further answer, he simply walked outside. Leaving me to follow him.

Soon we were both standing outside. There was no coming back and yet I wanted to tell him that I didn't want to do this. Nothing has changed and yet it had just gotten worse.

"Get in would you?" He questioned me and I finally came out of my trance. His black Mercedes stood out to me and I was just as nervous as the first time I had been alone with him. I nodded blankly. My mind still lost in the thoughts of past and what possibly could the future be.