Hating You to Love Me

23. Alex

My 12 year old self was running towards my mother. Tears rolled down my eyes. She looked down at me worriedly. "Son, are you okay?" She asked me as she wiped my tears.

"Mom, I-I accidentally broke the vase dad bought on your anniversary." I sobbed trying my best to pronounce everything clearly. She stared at me with a blank expression.
"Your father won't know, don't worry, okay?" She smiled lightly. "I will tell him, it was a cat that you brought inside. Stop crying honey." She told me as she kissed my cheek.

I nodded my head as fear finally emptied from within. I settled on her lap. And that's when we heard a masculine and familiar laughter from behind. "So you are teaching my son to lie now?" My father said as he stepped in front of us. He grabbed my wrist as he yanked me away from my mum.

"And You, the more you escape the punishments you deserve, the more you get it. I don't have to repeat it Alexander, get in that basement and learn the story from the book. I want it written a thousand times that you are sorry and you won't ever be clumsy ever again." He looked at me and I looked at my mom. The basement was dark and just had one lamp on the table.

I was terrified of the dark and being alone there. I hated it. "Dad I am sorry, please. I won't do it ever again. Please dad don't send me there for one month. Please." I cried as I fell on my knees. He just looked straight as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"There is no use Alexander. I am tired of you already. Let me help you." He said as he pulled me up and threw me over his shoulders. A sob broke as I begged him to not give me the punishment. He walked me down the creepy stairs to that basement. He turned on the lights as he let me down gently. I shook my head. "Dad!" I yelled as he closed the door and I just banged on it, for him to open it.

And then it went dark all of a sudden. I screamed.

I woke up with a jerk, sweating. My throat ached. I sighed before tears started rolling down my eyes. It was a nightmare, just a nightmare. I reminded myself but I was terrified. I was in my room, not in the basement.

I heard footsteps. I saw Ashley as she stepped out of the bathroom. "Are you okay?" She said when she saw me all sweating. I was confused.  Why was she there? What day was it?

I couldn't help but sigh. "When did you get back?" I asked, it came out colder than I intended. She frowned gently before she sighed.
"What's wrong Alex, weren't we supposed to leave today? Grandma was telling me you didn't step out of this room since the night before." She said and I just listened to her. I was not in the mood to talk.

"Let me take a shower and I will get the driver to pick us up." I told her completely avoiding her question. I pushed myself onto my feet, I knew I wasn't in my right mind and health. I felt a sudden dizzy feeling.

"Alex-" she grabbed my arm as I walked past her. I jerked it away. "For fuck's sake, stop it. I am in no good mood for this bullshit early in the morning." I bit my tongue at the end. I didn't had to be that rude to her. I didn't mean to but everything was going the way I'd never want it to go.

I saw the hurt that passed her face. She nodded gently as she hurried outside. I wanted to stop her but I didn't have the courage to make any effort for anything. I was back, the side of me I was tired of. The Alex that hated everything, especially Peaches.
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"Oh I will miss you Darling." Grandma hugged Ashley. I stared at them biting back the irritation that was stirring me from the fatigue. Elena was holding my arm as she leaned on me. I felt awful for the morning, still.

"Did you have a nightmare again?" I heard Elena's almost inaudible voice. I gulped. Ashley must have told her that I woke up all startled.
"It was worse than I nightmare, it was the reality of my shitty childhood and that fucking basement. It's been a long time since I had dreamt of it." I said gritting my teeth.

"Is that why you are all cold today? Look at your face, anyone can tell that you're pissed. You look awfully dangerous. Infact, Your looks might hurt someone." She chuckled before she hugged me.

"Stop hurting Ashley, you're gonna fucking regret it big one day." She sighed. "Like I am doing right now. I wish I could tell you the truth, but she doesn't want me to. I won't betray my best friend and that is also why I want to punch you in your face for making her sad this morning." She smacked my arm hard.

I kissed the top of her head. "See you in a couple weeks Bride-to-be." I smiled and she chuckled. Her cheeks instantly turned red. Elena pulled away and grabbed Ashley's hand. "Let's go!" She said as they both left.

Me and grandma were left behind. She turned her eyes to me, undeniably angered. "Alex you lied to me. I know that there is something wrong in your and Ashley's relationship. I don't know what it is, but you're smart enough to figure it out and heal it. I see it, the love you have for each other. Ashley Loves you, the way she looked at you since the time she arrived said everything. Take care son. And grandma Loves you, always." She kissed my hand and I almost cried.

The bitter feeling inside intensified. The whole thing was an act. We'd be back to normal soon. Me and Ashley. There would be nothing more between us than two workers again. And I didn't wish for it either. I didn't want it to go that way. Not again, I was tired of running away from it.

I hugged her. "I love you granny." I said before I finally stepped outside. As I took a few steps back still facing her. She smiled.
"Take your medicine on time, the fever has started to show up on your face." She smiled and I almost laughed. How could I play pretend with her? I turned around and realised that Ashley had already seated inside the car.

I waved at Elena and Granny once before I got inside the car. I noticed Ashley was facing the window. Well, the car ride was going to he exceptionally silent. The engine started and Ashley turned her head to me slowly.

Our eyes met briefly. I turned my head to look outside. "How funny it is, we're back to the square one. When you literally kissed me a day before telling me to take care. Nice." She scoffed.

"Well, didn't I tell you already Ashley? It was a fucking act you were supposed to play a part in Ashley. You better focus on work from now on. We don't have to act anymore." I told her. My heart almost skipped a beat. It again sounded worse than I intended it to.

"Of course it was an act Alex. Inside the room, when it was just us. It was an act when you held me close almost every night. How foolish of me to think you weren't a selfish asshole." She retorted and I finally turned my head towards her. Tears filled her eyes. I realised what I had done. I had hurt her bad but it was fine, wasn't it? After-all I was just distracted the past few days.

She closed her eyes as she leaned back on the seat. "This is what I feared Alex. This is exactly what I feared." She muttered under her breath.
My heart thundered in my chest. What did she fear? What was this? I didn't know.