Hating You to Love Me

4. Alex

I looked around, and I couldn't spot her. She was nowhere. It was just the time of the last announcement and she still was nowhere. There was her luggage with me. "Come on!" I cursed under my breath, losing my temper slowly.

I had no idea what would I do if she wouldn't be here. Last night I messed it up, losing my cool. I still remember the feeling on her wet tear on my skin. I was responsible for that and deep inside I was satisfied and yet so much bothered. My fist curled on my sides. "Stop thinking stupid stuff Alex!" I reminded myself as I turned on my heel, deciding to leave by myself.

But there she was, standing breathless with a paper bag in her hand. She raised it upwards and it irked me. She smiled and I was annoyed. "What the fuck are you smiling for Ashley? we almost missed the flight because of you! Let's go!"

I barked as I threw her a cold stare. I didn't bother her another glance as I walked straight through the terminal. I didn't hear her footsteps at first but then I heard her catching up with me. Her voice as she reported to the female guard as she passed the security confirmed that she was behind. It gave me a gentle relief. I wouldn't at-least have to trouble about making grandmother happy anymore.

After a few formalities we finally entered the plane. My eyes found her looking quietly at her feet as we waited to settle down in the first class seats. Her face was as nonchalant as it always was. That expressionless face that irked me. Making me want to do something to her.

"First you get me late, then you make me wait until the very last announcement? Are you crazy? Why are you always so careless and irresponsible?" I scoffed and she finally looked up at me with the same cold expression.

"We made it, and that's all that matters." She passed by me taking a seat on one of two cushion like chairs. My jaw tightened at the indifference. I settled beside her.

She removed her jacket and her sunglasses, revealing those brown eyes which seemed so dimmed. Her slender shoulders and those slight stretch marks that she wore so proudly made me mesmerised just a little. My lips pressed in a thin line as she leaned back in her seat. She put her headphones in and turned her face away from me.

I sighed. This was better. At-least I wouldn't have to deal with her. I noticed the paper bags still beside her handbag. My jaw tightened again as I quickly plugged in my headphones as well and turned my screen on.

A couple hours passed by. She didn't move at all and it was bothering to me. What if she was dead? I would have to deal with a lot! And just as I was about to call her name. She turned her head. Her eyes blank as she looked down at my tab's screen.

"What are you watching?" She muttered slowly as she removed her headphones. That was a first, I took a mental note.

"Friends." I passed her a look before I looked back at my screen. I pressed the play button and she turned around in her seat. She quietly stole a single headphone and leaned in to watch it with me. I never understood her and probably wouldn't want to.

Her head was just an inch away from my shoulder and she kept staring at my screen, leaning closer. "I just went to buy us some cupcakes because I thought it would be better. Then I decided to get a coffee for myself since I skipped the breakfast." She muttered under her breath right beside my ear. I could hear her and she knew it too.

I didn't react, keeping my eyes on the screen. "I am sorry." She muttered and before I could even decide to say something, her head came resting on my shoulder. I was still, too surprised to move. Scared that it'd be too awkward for both of us. I was still angry, I could feel it but I felt weird about her confronting me.

This was the first. Way too many first for a single day. My eyes slowly shifted to her face and I noticed her eyes were shut. Was she resting? Sleeping? My heart rate quickened for some reason. Strangely I didn't feel like pushing her away and yet I wanted to get away from her as soon as possible.

She was just giving excuses to me. I didn't have to believe her but I could just be a good human and let her be. I decided against my mind. I let her be. I was so uncomfortable letting her be this close but then I knew very well, what had to come, was worse than this.
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My ears adjusted to the sound of the announcement. I opened my eyes as I lifted my head off the seat. I noticed my blurry vision getting vivid. My hand was resting on something soft and the fabric grazed my skin. I wanted to move but I felt weight on my shoulder.

I tilted my head, trying to look down. I spotted Ashley's long lashes fluttering. Her hands around my arms. My hand resting on her thigh. Fuck!
She raised her head, facing me and our eyes met. Her face an inch away from mine. Her nose almost brushed mine in an attempt to figure out what was going on and what had gone wrong.

She stared with a vivid surprise which mirrored mine. "I..." she blinked. Her eyes paused on my lips and then back at my eyes. I was mirroring her every action. I could almost guess how her lips would feel by the closeness.

Another announcement to put our seat belts on, ringed the bell. We pulled apart, as quick as possible. She looked away. The four hour flight had been the weirdest flight of my life. Fuck!

Soon, we were settled again. She tied her hair up and I was minding my own business. Trying to get myself busy in my phone. Soon a cupcake appeared in front of me and I accepted it without looking up. I kept biting onto it. I didn't want to look at her face. More like it reminded me of everything I didn't want to think about.
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"Okay. Be here in Five." I ended the call and looked back over my shoulder. Watching her struggle to push her bags forward. I stood their, still, my eyes were fixed onto that cute little pout on her face and when she succeeded a smile bloomed as she made her way towards me. I frowned, I had never seen her. Maybe I never noticed her enough.

I turned my head and both of us didn't say a single word. There was nothing but a thick silence between us. It was all so obvious yet so overwhelming. She was standing there with another cupcake in her hand. She munched onto it and noticed my stare.

Her eyes looked back at me and she was back. That nonchalant, careless and cold look. "Please don't act like a bitch in front of granny. You will probably blow the cover on the very first day." I reminded her and her expression softened instantly.

"I can't help it. I have a resting bitch face!" She complained as she eyed her surroundings. "Also, we didn't even discuss the details. What am I supposed to do."

"Be honest." It was an instant reply from my side. The more we coated everything in a lie, the more complicated it would be to deal with. "Just tell her that we worked together, fell in love. Started dating in private. Didn't tell our families cause we still need time and yea. That's it." Everything sounded smooth to me.

"Okay." She nodded and silence returned once again. Once we got in the car, nothing changed. The stillness prevailed and I cared less. I kept scrolling through my phone, checking on emails and texts. I had important work to do.

She was once again leaning back against her seat, looking out of the window. It has always been either silence or chaos between us. Nothing in between. I hated it and at the same time It was needed.

"Alex. I am scared." I heard her. My head turned in her direction. I noticed her still, the numbness prevailed on her face, in her voice.

"What do you fear?" I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You." She turned her head and I saw tears in her eyes. My heart thumped in my chest. It ached suddenly. That was not something I wanted to hear.

"You deserve the fear." I stated, knowing that If I showed her a tad bit of sympathy, she'd have the upper hand.
And a laugh rumbled from her side. She closed her eyes shaking her head and relaxed into the seat. A laugh that I hated. It agitated me. "Of-course I do." She muttered and she turned her head outside again.