Hating You to Love Me

11. Ashley

My eyelids felt heavy yet I forced them to open. I frowned as I saw the dimmed light entering the room through the grey curtains. I felt weight on my waist as I gently turned around. I was in Alex's arms. He pushed against me still breathing deeply. He seemed fast asleep.

My heart skipped a beat as I stared at his sleeping baby face. The most defenceless version of him. If you'd have told me that I'd wake up in Alexander Norman's arms, either I would have beat the shit out of you or simply laughed at how foolish you were. But right then, It was true even if it was just for one day. Even if it was insignificant to him, it aas true for short time at-least.

I gently pushed his hair aside and I knew he was fast asleep since he didn't even flinch. His face was a mere inch away from mine. I could smell his cologne. Cold, just like he'd turn after a few hours of waking up. Bastard. He looked beautiful just like that, laying beside me with his arms securing me by his side. I clearly remembered last night. The way his soft lips felt against mine. He wasn't the playboy I knew but a man I was attracted to.

I smiled lightly at how pathetic my thoughts were because I know, Alex would never think of the kiss more than a body reaction because he was horny? Yea. I was quite sure. I sighed as I closed my eyes again, pushing the thoughts behind my head, convincing myself that I wasn't hurt a bit. But deep down, I knew what I felt. I was overthinking and that wasn't good for either of us.

"Good morning." I heard him mutter and a chill broke down on my skin. I opened my eyes and saw him smirking. That smug look early in the morning. Aghhhh!!! Jerk. "You're really in love with me aren't you. The way you were caressing my hair and all." Fuck Him.

"Dream on Alex. Love? Takes years of practice. I was just holding myself back from plucking your hair out of that scalp early in the morning." I retorted as I held back the blush, instead faced him with a bold stare. I continued, "What about you, the way you did't let go of me all night like a lover ready not to let go of someone they love." I raised a brow and I noticed his smile drop.

Ironically, none of us moved. He didn't take his hands of me and I didn't stop my fingers to graze the back of his head. The tension accompanied with the morning laziness made my head swirl gently. What a good morning and the worst. We were back, the masked Alex and the masked Me.

"Peach. Let's pretend last night didn't happen alright?" He said looking in my eyes with a weird emotion flickering in them. Worry? But my heart sank immediately. Even though I had foreseen this, why was it hurting me. Why?

"I knew you would say that." I muttered my thoughts out loud as my fingers stilled.
"Wouldn't you?" He asked and my heart ached gently. Maybe not? Or maybe yes? Given our circumstances, Maybe I would have done the same in a few hours if he didn't. But he did it the first thing in the morning.

He still held me and it made everything worse. "You never know." I answered him as I pulled away, turning around and then stepping out of the bed, making my way to the bathroom. "But you are right. It shouldn't have happened." I smiled at him when he turned to look at me as I made my way to the bathroom.

My eyes stung as I leaned against the closed door. And then I turned on the shower as I let the running water drown my tears. I knew one thing, it'd never be the same anymore. I didn't know what to do or what to feel.
It was the start of an ending I wasn't prepared for.
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I stood their with my back turned to the kitchen. I watched the news flashing on the TV, nothing better to do. I heard footsteps behind me as I stilled. Fuck, I wasn't ready for the awkwardness.

I turned my head. "Chef made some spaghetti for breakfast. Heavy." I said and Alex just nodded. I walked to the table as we both seated down. The dish was already served. I quickly got a hold of my fork as I swirled it around and then munched onto the deliciousness of the fresh Italian breakfast.