Pretending (Westshore Series #1)

Chapter Forty-Five: I Shed Like a Dog

It was the first official game back since the break, but I did not want to go. My mom's freak-out in our common room was on repeat in my head. Warner knew what she was like but poor Adam and Abby had no idea. I was just glad Adam didn't try to question me on it. Abby on the other hand has become a total mother hen and Warner already filled that position so having two of them was a nightmare.

I was meant to be heading to cheerleading warmups to practice the routine for the night but I was still wearing my pyjamas. I headed to Warner's room without knocking and flopped onto the bed, taking over the main length of it, face-down like a fussy kid. My face was buried into the soft material of the pillow.

Did he say anything? No.

Instead, I felt the heat of his body get even closer right before the pillow below me was lifted, raising my head right along with it. A heartbeat later, he plops into the empty spot, dropping the pillow on top of his lap so that my upper body rested on his thighs. The weight of his hand settled between my shoulder blades.

He palms the back of my neck, shifting down the bed just a bit. "You okay baby?"

Warner's hand slid up my back again, circling one side of my shoulders before moving to the other. "I hate her, Warner. I hate her for not caring. God damnit. I needed her and she—" my voice cracking. "She doesn't care."

A watery cough escapes my body. "The worst part is I still want her to come back and apologize. I'm pathetic." I confess to the pillow.

His large hand keeps up their circling swipes down one side of my back before moving over to the other while I lay there, trying to compose myself. Trying to bottle up the momentary anger that has made its way out of me. For a long time, we just sit there. Me still laying partially over Warner's lap, Warner with his hand moving around my back. The silence is okay because I'd said what I needed to. I'd released the crap I'd held in for so long. I just needed a moment and he knew exactly how to help me have it.

After a while, I try to sit up since I know he has to get to his own practice but his heavy hand on the middle of my back keeps me down.

"She is not worth your tears. She is not worth the love you've given her. She doesn't deserve it and she never will. I'm sure you needed your mom as a kid but she's a shitty one. And you can't let a shitty one define you. She is not going to be the reason you cry or hurt yourself anymore."

My heart squeezes

"You are beautiful, you are strong, and you are smart, Juliet. Too smart to believe any of the shit that comes out of her mouth." His fingers tighten on my nape. "Please stop crying over someone like her. She will not come here and hurt you again. Do you hear me?"

I nod into the pillow. I feel so overwhelmed, so raw, it was draining. I'd think about her again, there was no way I couldn't but at this moment, it was nice to believe that I could wash myself of my mother.

Warner's fingers extend to where his palm covers the back of my neck and his fingers wrap around most of my throat. "Tracy used to tell me you have to fight through the worst days to get to the best days of your life. So please just hang in there. I swear it will get better...it has to. You deserve better than this bullshit." His fingers knead the muscles on my neck. "If I have to see your beautiful face crying again over something that worthless piece of shit said or did, I'm going to have to fulfil my promise and do something violent."

"Thank you."I get up from my pity pillow and look at him for a heartbeat, still feeling a little pathetic, but I shuffle forward and just go for it. Arms around his ribs, my forehead to his cheek. It takes a second but his arms wind around me. One arm wraps over my shoulders, the other around the middle of my back. And he squeezes. Warner holds me to him, the faint smell of laundry detergent and Warner filling my nostrils. Warm skin, warm body, warm, warm, warm. So much warmth, this wild choke lodges in my throat.