Pretending (Westshore Series #1)

Chapter Fifty-Eight: Not Okay

HIIII!!! THIS ISN'T EDITED BUT YALL WERE MESSAGING SO IM POSTING EARLY

TW: ED CONTENT

I am zero days purge free.

And I'm very drunk.

Every time one of my friends looks at me I feel the need to grab another drink. I've told them so many lies. The lies that I'm okay. The lies that I'm on track in my recovery.

The more I drink the more I forget that I'm lying to everyone.

I know Warner is getting wary about how much I'm drinking. I wish he would drink just he wouldn't have such a sharp eye when it came to me. If he was drunk then he wouldn't notice how drunk I was. Right?

I'm on my ninth drink when I finally get rid of the feeling of guilt, I have gotten rid of almost all my feelings.

They were still there though because when I go to the club bathroom to pee I take one look in the mirror and I want to burst into tears. The girl looking back at me is the girl my mom described. I don't remember what I look like and I don't want to think about it one second longer.

I hate that girl in the mirror. I hate her so much right now. I hate that she can't be a normal college student. That I can't look in the mirror without breaking down. That I'm lying to everyone I love because I am such a failure.

I scrub my hands raw with a profligate amount of soap, unable to stop the stupid tears dripping down my cheeks.

"Are you okay?" a female voice asks, startling me.

Sniffling, I turn to see a girl step out of the toilet cubicle at the end of the bathroom.

I have been so caught up in my personal breakdown that I didn't realize there was anyone else in here.

"I'm sorry," I mumble. "I didn't know anyone else was in here."

"That's okay, I am only in here because I don't want to share," she announces, shaking a clear baggie in front of her

She is much older than me – and much more beautiful.

Her black hair is cut up in one of those classy bob-style haircuts that all the celebrities are currently sporting and her face is flawless.

She walks over to where I am standing and leans against the sink next to mine.

"Are you okay?"

"Oh, yes I'm fine," I quickly deflect. "It's nothing."

"It doesn't look like nothing," she muses, light blue eyes locked on mine. "You look like you are about to breakdown."

I shrug, feeling my face flame with embarrassment.

"Bad day?"

More like bad life...

I exhale heavily. "You could say that."

"I have something that might help with that," she replies, holding her baggie out to me.

Sober Juliet would say no.

However whatever is in that bag is going to make me feel a lot better than I am now. So I do what anyone who is going off the deep end does and I accept her offer.

______

After about twenty minutes I can feel the drugs starting to kick in and I feel happy. I just want to dance and touch everyone. I want to kiss Warner. Where is Warner?

"ABBY!" I yell louder than necessary to get her attention.

"Shots?" she asks me, just as drunk as I am. But I'm more than just drunk, and with my new friend's special help I feel ten times better.