Pretending (Westshore Series #1)

Chapter Fifty-Six: Bad Days

TW: ED CONTENT!!!!

Warner had up in Thunderbay for five days and I was still on track in my recovery.

Proving Dr. Ivey wrong felt nice. Even though I know she wants us to succeed it still feels nice to know that I can be without Warner and be okay. I didn't just want to prove it to Dr. Ivey but to Warner too. I needed him to know that I could be okay without him and that he didn't need to worry so much.

That's not to say I didn't miss him. Especially when I spent most of my time with two couples. I suddenly felt bad for Adam who normally had to hang out with three couples and never complained once. I think he was glad to have me around without Warner.

Everything was fine until it wasn't

It started going downhill when Abby and Winston got into a huge fight earlier in the morning. The kind of fight you can't ignore because it takes place in your living room and ends with your best friend crying into your shoulder for a solid hour.

Abby still hasn't even told me what it was over, she just snuggled under my covers and asked if I could grab as much ice cream and junk food as I could from the store and bring it back for her. Being the good friend I am, I headed straight to the grocery store and piled as much junk food as I could into a cart.

However, when I got to the check out I froze because the one woman I didn't want to see while holding this much Ben and Jerry's was my mom. She is checking out a green juice and just looking at the drink makes me feel nauseous. It reminds me of the lowest time of my life.

She spots me before I can hide and her eyes go straight to the pile of junk food in my hands. Then her eyes drift down to my stomach and stay there before slowly going over my body like she is evaluating me.

I haven't seen her since the night in my dorm. Even after I was hospitalized she didn't visit. I don't expect her first words to me to be kind so when she walks over I prepare for the worst.

"I see that a few months go by without me and you are already packing the pounds back on. You might want to switch that out for some diet ice cream hun."

My entire face reddens. I know I have gained some weight since starting recovery, I was no longer a size zero but I wasn't fat...was I?

A cruel barb punctures the balloon of humiliation and shame that has been swelling inside ever since she spotted me.

I say nothing because I'm afraid if I try to talk I will cry. I may be able to stand up to Sierra but this was different. My mom has an effect on me that nobody else does and she knows my insecurities better than anyone else.

"I'm doing better actually. I have a therapist now and I am healthy." I manage to get the words out, picturing Dr. Ivey coaching me through this interaction. I glance towards the exit.

"Healthy? You look..." she makes a point to glance over my body, "Pudgy. Not healthy. I knew you would fall off track without me."

I open my mouth to reply, but words stick in the back of my throat, too strenuous to produce. Speaking takes strength that has eked away with my confidence. My bottled insecurities attack me like a parasite with no thought but to destroy me until I'm weakened, withered and dead.

"You shouldn't say stuff like that to me." I manage to choke out.

"Always the dramatics Juliet. Someone has to tell you about the noticeable weight gain, you'll thank me later on."

She walks away without another word and I check out the snacks mindlessly like a zombie just wanting to get back to my friends. I know who I want to call at this moment but I can't.