A Kiss of Bleeding Fire

03

MY head spun around making me feel sick. Nausea rolled in my stomach as the morning sun filtered through the window. But I had no time to appreciate the soft touches of the morning sunlight as the bile threatened to roll out of my mouth.

Jumping off the bed, I held my stomach as if it can help me to stop the bile coming out of my throat. The cold touch of the tiled floor sent a shiver down my spine but that did not slow down my pace toward the bathroom. Fuck, I needed to let this out.

I vomited in the bowl. I winced right after as I closed my eyes. I opened my eyes as they watered. I didn't know if it was because of the fear that housed in my chest or because of the emotion created by my pregnancy. I wasn't an emotional person so I assumed it was because of my pregnancy.

After I vomited, I rose to my feet and washed my face with cool water, and gargled out the aftertaste of the vomit in my mouth. Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I noticed my breasts. They seemed bigger and heavier than before. My mind focused on the slight pain from my nipples as they brushed against the soft fabric of my shirt.

I breathed a lungful of air before emerging from my room. I went straight to the dining area knowing my parents were already there. As I neared the dining, my chest closed up and my heartbeat skyrocketed. I won't tell them about the pregnancy yet; I was not yet ready to drop the bomb and Garrett wanted to be with me once I decided to tell my parents about it.

"Good morning, hija," my mother greeted me as I entered the dining area.

I smiled and pulled out the chair to sit in. My father nodded at me before returning his attention to his phone. This was the usual setup in the dining area. Since I was a kid, I longed for his attention. But he was too focused on his business and work and Lia.

It was so hard to have him spare some of his attention for me. But as the years passed by, I outgrew the longing and I stopped trying. But I was lying if I said it did not hurt me still. It still did but I just opted to ignore it and focused on myself.

"How's Bellamy doing, Li?" Mama tried to start a topic but I guessed she chose the wrong one.

I shrugged, "I don't know, Ma. He's . . . he's so aloof. He doesn't talk to anyone. He doesn't even talk to me."

She nodded and looked at my father who just shook his head but continued to scroll on his phone. Mama looked at me and smiled sadly, "I saw Silvia yesterday and she was worried about her son. She asked if you can help him cope with what happened to your sister."

I shook my head, "I tried, Ma. But he was stubborn. He shuts down people who tried to help him out of his misery. He likes dwelling in the memory of Lia and nursing this self-blame." I looked at my father who was now looking at me, "Have any news about Lia, Papa?"

He heaved a sigh and closed up his phone. His eyes turned solemn as he shook his head. No trace of anything where my sister went after that night. After her mother, tita Sarah, almost died, Lia disappeared suddenly. Without any trace . . . or anything. Hindi rin makausap nang maayos si tita Sarah dahil nawalan ito sa katinuan matapos ang nangyari.

"Maybe, it will help if Barron moved out of their mansion. Bellamy blames his brother though." I supplied.

Mama shook her head, "Barron was also a victim, Li. Bellamy shouldn't blame him."

"Can we stop talking about other people here? We have our own problems. Let them solve it while we solve ours."

Brave of you to say that, Papa. I almost uttered those words. Mabuti nalang at napigilan ko ang sarili ko. I wanted to laugh because the problem he only saw was the disappearance of my sister but the long-time problem he had with us was kept at bay as if it wasn't long-overdue.