A Kiss of Bleeding Fire

12

THE MOMENT I uttered his name— the father of my child, my father looked at me with narrowed eyes. However, my mother looked shocked and overwhelmed by the news. 

"Do you really despise your sister that you want all the men she has in her life to be yours, Lilith?" My father asked.

A thousand poisonous spears pierced me right through my chest. The pain had multiplied in my body. Walls started to close up around me; my eyes began to be consumed by blackness; anxiety and sadness clawed up my throat, crippling my vocal cords to do their job.

I cannot believe what he just said. Gano'n na ba talaga ang tingin ng aking ama sa akin? I might have done terrible things in the past and I was not proud of it. I regretted it all the time. I deserved their treatment; I deserved their hate. Maybe, I was getting this treatment and judgment because I was the evil half-sister.

I badly wanted to repent for what I did to my sister but I could not swallow the words my father had for me.

I just can't.

Tears started to prickle at the side of my eyes. Sobs flew out of my lips as I put my hand over my chest. The chest where my heart encapsulated. The heart that had endured so much pain. The heart that was wounded many times. The heart that was burned by the people I loved. The heart that was destroyed yet still beating and flaring with fire.

"Roberto! Lilith is still your daughter!" My mother said but it was too late. Words were powerful, especially when it was from the people you love. They held more impact, more power, and more pain.

"Una si Bellamy! And now it was Garrett Singson?" Papa said, disdain and disappointment mixed in his voice, "Are you really that desperate, Lilith?"

"Roberto!"

"Shut up!" He looked at my mother with the same intensity, "Kinunsinti mo ang anak mo! Tignan mo ang nangyari!"

"P-pa . . ." Sob flew out of my mouth nonstop, "I . . . I didn't plan this. It was an-an accident."

"Of course, you did!" He looked so fed up with all the drama in this house. So did I. I was so fed up with this. Fed up with how he treated me and my mother. How he constantly made me feel I was worthless and that I was the reason for my sister's disappearance.

I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself. It wasn't good for the baby. I had to calm down. I needed Garrett right now.

"Roberto, tama na . . ." Mom said with a calm voice, "Nandito na ito. Wala na tayo magagawa pa—"

"I am so disappointed in you, Lilith. You kept on disappointing me." Papa said and started to walk away from us. With his back turned on us, he spoke, "Call Garrett Singson right now. I need to talk to him. We need to discuss what has to be done."

"O . . . Okay, pa."

I frantically fished my phone from my pocket and dialed Garrett's number. Bile was still stuck in my throat, hence I could not speak a word when he answered the call.

"Lilith?" He called out.

"G-Garrett, they found out," I whispered, tears started to blur my vision. Ni hindi ko napansin na nasa tabi ko pa pala si mama.

I heard a series of expletives leave his mouth. He figured out my cracked voice. It felt like he knew that I cried so he immediately informed me he was on his way na.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang plano ni papa. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gusto niyang gawin. I did have a plan. Pero sa estado namin ngayon, hindi ko alam bakit natatakot akong magsalita ng kahit ano kay papa. His words a while back lingered in my head like a plaque. I wanted to pull them off my head but they lingered, they stayed and slowly tarnished my sanity. His words instantly elicit the guilt to keep up to bite me in the ass. The guilt that I'd been running from since Lia left us.