A Kiss of Bleeding Fire

37

WITH MY lips agape, I stared at the broad breadth of his shoulder. The slight slops of muscles on his back were accentuated by the tight hug of his black tee shirt around his body. My chest tightened inside of my ribcage and butterflies inside of my stomach started to resurrect from their excruciating death.

It took me a minute or two to process the presence of the man who looked tired and spent. This was the first time I saw him since the video leaked from every social media platform. The slight hunch on his body posture, the tight tic of his jaw, and the dark circles under his eyes were enough indicators that he spent the days we were apart in hell as well. Maybe, I was just assuming things. Maybe, I would like to think that Garrett looked miserable right now due to my absence. This was a reach but I'd like to bask in the delusional idea of my head to keep the small flame in my chest burning.

Sofia read the room as she excused herself from the scene. I glared at her retrieving back as I wanted her presence right now that Garrett was just an arm-length reach from me. My jaw tightened when the irrational ideas of my heart were eradicated by the rational side of myself. He did not show up when I needed support; he did not show up when I needed him most; he vanished in the thin fucking air at the sense of obstacle. Now, I couldn't wipe out the idea that he somehow believed what other people said about me.

"Garrett, what are you doing here?" I asked after I closed the door and followed him into the living room.

He turned around and the frustration and exhaustion marred his pretty aristocratic features. Garrett was the only man I ever saw who looked so ethereal and gorgeous despite the hard edges and the unpleasant emotions masking his face. At a closer look, he seemed like someone who hadn't slept a wink. The obvious shadow of his stubbles, the dark circles under his eyes, and the tightness of his lip, all of it made me want to slap and kiss him at the same time.

As if all my moping, longing, and crying for days due to his absence did not exist. I did not want to give him the time of my day, I did not want to show any empathy to his tired and wilting features.

"I already said you don't need to ask me this stupid and nonsensical question, Lilith. Of course, I am here to check up on you—"

I glared at him. He tried to walk toward me but I stopped him, "Bakit ngayon lang?"

Dahil ba wala na iyong mga videos? Because my parents were making sure that the issue would not last? Because after my family cleaned up the mess, I'd have a clean name again that could be a perfect pair for him. What? That was the only reason I saw why he was here. He was nowhere to be found when the issue came out like a plague that slowly ripped off every happy bubble inside my chest, putting me into a mental state that until now was making me so exhausted and lifeless.

He tried to come close to me but I shook my head, "Don't come near me right now," I was still mad at him despite the emotions intertwining with my disappointment in him, "I needed you that time, Garrett! I tried calling you but all my calls went directly to your voicemail . . ."

"Li—"

I shook my head, "Did you believe the video? Did you believe the false rumors people concocted about me?" He shook his head but I glared at him in return, "Don't fucking lie to me! You ghosted me for days because you fucking believe what those people said about me."

"Gano'n na ba ang kababa ang tingin mo sa 'kin na basta-basta maniniwala sa mga walang k'wentang opinion ng mga tao, Lilith?"

My lips parted, and tears started to blur my vision, "You can't blame me for thinking that because you were the first one to vanish when the issue came out. Garrett, I called you because I needed you. I called you because I wanted to tell you my truth and I wanted to know that despite their words, you still have faith in me . . . But you were the first one to ghost me. Of all people, I . . . I thought you would be the one to stick up with me."