A Kiss of Bleeding Fire

27

I WENT home with a bleeding heart. As the darkness crept around me, the haunting lullaby of loneliness clutched my shoulder, pulling me into the abyssal hole of consuming melancholia. Tears trickled down like a depressing dance of rivulets of water during the rainy season.

Staring at my baby bumps with tears blurring my vision, I placed my palm on my stomach and closed my eyes. As if the action will help me explain to my baby that the decision I made was for us three. It was destined to transpire.

It's for you, my angel. I am doing it for you. I mentally uttered with quivering lips.

I knew that what was happening in my life lately was not good for the baby. I'd been stressing out over everything, especially over Garrett. He was the fire that resurrected my bleeding heart but he was also the one who dampened down fire. I needed to end whatever we had. I needed to choose myself this time.

Since I was a child, I'd been trying to please people. I'd been doing everything for them not to leave me. I wanted love; I longed for love. Because of that, I told myself that I needed to be good in front of everyone; I needed to show them what they liked because that would be the only way to keep them with me.

It was exhausting, indeed. However, growing up in a household that did not show any ounce of love and having a father who constantly made me feel that if I would not do better, he would be disappointed and would leave me, I turned to be a people pleaser.

It was all because I wanted love. I craved love. I longed for love.

Closing my eyes, I let the pull of exhaustion that clutched on my shoulder since I arrived home. Tomorrow, I will talk to my parents and inform them that I was calling off the wedding.

I knew that my decision was right. It was for me and the baby.

💠💠💠

When I woke up the next morning, what I did first was check if my father was in the house. I hadn't looked at my phone since I chucked it in my drawer, and I didn't want to know if Garrett had tried reaching out to me.

I went downstairs and the first person I saw was my Mother. She was walking toward the dining room and when she saw me, she came to a slow halt and waited for me. I walked toward her and a wrinkle on her forehead became visible in a closer look.

"You stayed the night here?" She asked, smiling.

"Yes, ma," I looked over to the dining room, "Is Papa in the dining room?"

"Yes, honey. He's in the dining room,"

I craned my neck to look my mother in the eyes. Her brows furrowed as she tried to read my expression. Even though she hadn't been a mother to me most of the time because she wasted all her time to please my father, I knew there were some times that she could feel my internal turmoil. She could still be a mother, and that thought itself made me hold on to her.

"What's wrong, Li?" She moved and carefully held my elbow.

"I will tell you with Papa in the dining room, Ma," I whispered and ushered her to the dining room.

Papa was already there, sipping on his cup of coffee and reading some emails on his tablet. The beautiful man, Roberto Gomez, was nowhere to be found in the man sitting across from us. His hair was a mix of salt and pepper and his facial features were hardened by the stressful months he had to find Lia.

Father looked up at us from his tablet. He nodded at me and after that, he transferred back his attention to his tablet. I caressed my baby bump as I felt a little tinge in my chest from his lack of interest.