A Kiss of Bleeding Fire

17

WEEKS HAD passed and my relationship with Garrett, or the lack thereof, stayed the same. We did not talk much about the engagement party our parents had been concocting ever since I agreed to their plan. However, we talked about some insignificant stuff like our daily activities and plans for the week.

I can say that what I had with Garrett right now was entirely sexual. I had read some pregnancy blogs that it was normal to feel horny or lustful for the father of your child or that your sexual appetite heightened when you were pregnant.

Also, Garrett was the best example of an insatiable man. Though we hadn't had the actual sex, he did not miss bringing me to my undoing with his mouth, tongue, and fingers. After he fucked me with them, I felt a strong tug of urgency to suck him dry. That had been our cycle for the past few weeks.

And just thinking about it made me feel hot and bothered.

I pushed the dirty image of Garrett between my legs and just focused on the notes I was reading. God, Garrett, and his ability to pull me out of reality were making me insane.

When the news of my pregnancy and Garrett being the father of the child in my womb spread in our University, I received lots of degrading comments and got slut-shamed because I just trapped their golden boy.

It was not a secret that there were tons of girls wanting to have Garrett. Aside from his aristocratic look and washboard physique, he was kind and intelligent. He had all the things a woman would wish her man to have. And to think that he got me pregnant was blasphemy for others.

Before, I can easily ignore the slut-shaming or the degrading comments they had for me. As long as I was happy and comfortable with what I was doing, I did not care what other people said about me. But there was some shifting that happened in my life because when a heap of girls gathered together and talked about how undeserving I was of Garrett made me feral. There was a poison-filled dagger that pierced me through the chest and twisted it to inflict more pain in my body until I collapsed and seized to death.

I had heard comments like that before when I was trying to get Bellamy to like me instead of Lia. I received comments like: Lia deserved Bellamy more than I did. But it did not make me feel insecure; It did not make a twist in my chest.

But when it came to Garrett, I felt something had shifted in my system. Changed all the initial reactions programmed in my head which resulted in my having a completely screwed-up self-pitying moment and detonating insecurity that will soon wreak havoc on my whole body.

Having feelings for Garrett was dangerous. It elicited the red flags in my head that I thought had already been buried deep in my system. But with him, the monsters woke up and now crawled up my body; clawing their talons up to my brain to completely fuck me up.

I should have stopped my feelings for him. But I did not.

I would have tried harder to extract him from my system. But I did not.

I could have had a peaceful pregnancy if I did all of it.

Now, I was charging toward my demise. With no plan of stopping. The precipice was near; the smell of death was brewing in the humid air. I was close. I was close.

"What are you doing?" I hoarse voice pulled me off my trance.

Even though I won't crane my neck to look at the intruder, I knew who was it by just smelling his addicting masculine scent hinted at a woodsy and cinnamon scent. The familiar heat that seeped out of his body was excruciatingly molded in my head. He embedded everything about him in my head deeper than I thought and the mere presence of him near me could elicit a heedful reaction from my body.