A Kiss of Bleeding Fire

38

THERE WAS a point in your life that you felt like it was nearing its end because it felt like the Heavens had engulfed your entire being. The happiness that resided in my chest as Garrett threaded his fingers through my hair was the happiness I never thought I would experience in this lifetime.

For the first time, I felt loved. For the first time, I had someone to protect me. For the first time, I had someone to care for me. And for the first time, I had someone I felt safe to be with.

Since I was a kid, I was trapped in a capsule of melancholia, a never-ending grief of nothingness, and an excruciating journey of envy and insecurities. I craved attention; I wanted attention; I sought attention. My life was a never-ending wish of love, care, and safety.

My childhood screamed for love. My teenage years cried for assurance. In my twenties, I craved both.

While Garrett was busy fiddling with my hair, a lone tear escaped from my eye. The tightness of my chest was painful but so beautiful I saw stars bursting before my eyes. It felt like I'd reached the peak of ecstasy, the cloud-nine. I did not want this to end, I was not ready to wake up from this dream.

This wasn't a dream, was it? It shouldn't be since I felt the warmth of Garrett beneath me. I felt his warm skin against mine. I could smell the familiar woodsy mixed with the masculine scent of him. I wasn't dreaming. This was real. Garrett was here with me.

"You should have told me what you were doing instead of being radio silent for a few days. I thought you'd ghosted me," I murmured against his chest.

Garrett looked down at me, his eyes were soft and tender. He stopped combing my hair with his fingers as his other forefinger tipped up my chin to direct all my attention to him.

"I was fuming mad at that moment and I didn't want to project my anger at you," he caressed the pad of his thumb through the cushion of my bottom lip, "You need to trust me, Lilith . . ."

My chest tightened at what he said, "I trust you,"

He shook his head and the side of his lips tipped up, "Not fully. And that's okay . . . for now. You need to trust me, Li. You need to know that I am true to my words. When I said you are mine, you are mine. When I said there's no way you can escape me, there's no way you can escape me. I am a moth to your fire, Li. I am obsessed. I am addicted. You've let me feel what feels like to be with a light and now I don't want to be in darkness."

"Garrett," I called his name. I did not know what to say. I did not know what to do. All I wanted to do was to cry and laugh. It sounded insane but the feeling lodged in my chest right now offered a million voltages of electrifying happiness.

"I love you . . ." He whispered lovingly, his voice lowered as his fingers traced some lines along my cheek, "I fucking love you. I love you so much that I could barely breathe without you in my sight. I love you so much that I'd see black every time the thought of you with someone else entered my mind."

Another bead of tears escaped from my eyes. Agad naman niya itong pinunasan. Garrett lowered his head to kiss my forehead. Ang lakas nang tibok ng aking puso. Now, I was certain Garrett was it for me. He was the man for me. I would keep him mine as long as he wanted. I would keep him forever if that existed.

"I love you too . . ." I whispered. My voice was raspy from my all-night screaming from the rough fucking we had, "You told me that I showed you the true color of love but you did the same with me, Allister. You showed me the true meaning of love, its truest form, its color, and its light. You made me believe in it,"

A smile stretched across his face. Mas lalo ata akong nahulog dahil do'n. Garrett was so painstakingly beautiful I wanted to keep him in my pocket. Girls flocked around him. They wanted him for themselves. I knew that there were girls out there more deserving of him than me but he chose me. He wanted me.