A Kiss of Bleeding Fire

34

TO WANT was to hope and to hope was to fear. 

Since I was a kid, I always wanted people to be with me. To choose me. To not leave me. So, what I did was show a facade of a composed woman. I always did what I thought was best for people not to think of abandoning me. I hoped. I hoped that all of those things I did were enough to make them stay. However, that hope was entwined with fear. I feared that one day, they would realize how fucked up I was. One day, they would realize how messed up my life was.

Some people did not like me. I knew it. So, I treasured whoever could put up with me. That was one of the reasons why I disliked my sister, Lia. She did not need to do anything to make people like her. She just stood there, doing nothing and just being herself, and all the people were already ready to catch a bullet for her.

At mas lalo lang akong nagalit at nainggit sa kaniya no'ng napansin ko ang pagkakagusto ni Bellamy sa kanila. Bellamy was my only trusted friend aside from Sofia. He was with me when I felt lonely. He was with me when I cried because my father could not look at me the way he looked at my sister.

Not until I realized that he was just being with me because he was hoping to get close to Lia. Akala ko no'n, he was just infatuated. That he just wanted to fuck my sister and be done with it hence I did the most terrible thing to my sister. I dared Bellamy to make her fall for him. Akala ko ay pagkatapos makuha ni Bellamy ang loob ni Lia, he would come to his senses and get over his feelings for her.

But the bastard just fell harder and he even begged Lia to accept him again. Alam kong may gusto na rin si Lia kay Bellamy kaya pinilit kong lasunin ang isip ni Lia na masama ang mutibo ni Bellamy sa kaniya.

I remembered that day so vividly- the day when I met Lia in DMMSU, and told her for the second time that Bellamy was still in pursuit to destroy her. That was also the day I had a not-so-cute interaction with Garrett.

"Bellamy!" I called Bellamy's name when I saw him trying to chase Lia who was running from him.

Tumingin siya sa akin, frustration was etched in every corner of his face. When his eyes connected with mine, rage filled them and I suddenly felt nervous. My smile faltered as he stalked to where I was, his palms fisted in a tight ball and his jaw was clenched.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Bellamy sneered, eyes sending thousands of daggers.

Kahit na kinakabahan ako sa galit niyang mga mata ay pinilit ko pa ring ngumiti, "What's my problem? I should be the one asking you that fucking question, what's your problem? You are done with Lia-"

"Shut the fuck up!" Nakita ko ang pagkislap ng kaniyang mga mata. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko no'ng napagtanto kong luha ang mga ito.

Shut the fuck up. Bellamy was crying?!

"You are done with the dare. Stop chasing Lia as if you are some lovesick dog-"

"Get the hell out of my sight before I lose my control, Lilith!" He growled, "You are fucking up my life. You . . . you are dragging me to the pit of your miserable life-"

"What the fuck?" I sneered. My heart clenched painfully. See, Bellamy was the same as the other people in my life, "You agreed with the dare! You agreed to make her fall and break her heart! You are done with the deal so leave Lia alone-"

"Shut the fuck up! You don't know a thing. I won't leave Everleigh alone. I can't . . ." He looked at me, his eyes were bloodshot, "I'm done with the dare- no, I never agreed to that. I only agreed because you said you'd use another bastard if I refused. So, yeah, I am done with your bullshit,"

I looked at her, heart thrumming painfully, "Y-you really like her?" My lips trembled.

He sighed and shook his head, "Like is an understatement, Lilith. What I feel for her feels like I will never love another woman ever again after her,"