The Squib and the Werewolf (book 2)

16. Happy Tears

Raya wanted to take Sophia to Sirius right away, but she knew the Ministry would be expecting her to do that, so she would have to wait before introducing Sirius to his daughter.
Without Remus's support, Raya struggled at first to look at Sophia all by herself.
The nanny looked after Sophia at the Lupin house for several hours a day. But when Raya collected her each afternoon, she was left alone with Sophia until the following morning.
Raya had decided early on that it was too risky to have a Muggle come to the Potter Manor, which is why she dropped Sophia off at her parents house, where Remus lived, since the place was empty.

When May arrived, Raya decided it was time to take Sophia to meet her father.
On the pretence of going to visit Remus, Raya took her daughter to Hogsmeade, before sneaking up the mountain towards the Shrieking Shack.
Once she arrived she announced herself as normal, before heading upstairs to find Sirius.
"I've got a suprise for you" revealed Raya, as she pushed open the bedroom door with one hand and entered the room.

Sirius's face melted when he saw a sleeping Sophia in Raya's arms.
"Would you like to meet your daughter?" Asked Raya, as she stretched out her arms towards Sirius.
"I won't hurt her, will I?" Questioned Sirius nervously.
Raya shook her head, "Just be gentle with her, and everything will be fine. It's not like you've never held a baby before. We used to take care of Harry all the time, even when he was a newborn".
"She's not a newborn though" replied Sirius.
"No, she's about a month old now. I didn't want to risk coming straight away, in case someone followed me".

Sirius cautiously took Sophia into his arms and held her tight.
"She's beautiful" he murmered.
"Yes, she is" agreed Raya, as she placed Sirius's bag of food on the ground.
"She looks just like you" commented Sirius.
"Which is probably a good thing. As it would be hard for me to hide her true parentage, if she had your hair and eyes, like Jamie does"
"What's her name?"
"Sophia. Sophia Doe Black"
"You gave her your middle name"
"I did. Is that alright?"
"I love it".

Sirius suddenly sniffed loudly, and Raya could see that he was beginning to cry.
"Hey, are you O.K? Are these happy or sad tears" Asked Raya.
"I don't know. I'm feeling too many emotions at once" answered Sirius.
"What are you sad about? Aren't you happy to meet your daughter" Quizzed Raya.
"Of course I'm happy to meet her, but she's just so pure and innocent. She doesn't know anything about the harsh world she has been born into. It won't be long though, before she learns that everyone hates her and her family, because of me. She won't get to stay young for long, as she will have to grow up fast, just like Jamie had to. And it's all my fault. I failed to protect you and Jamie, and now I'm going to fail to protect her as well. I have nothing to offer her" sobbed Sirius.

"Siri, don't cry. It's not your fault that the world loaths everyone with the Black surname. And you don't need to give Sophia anything but your love. Some children grow up in a home without any loving parents, like you did. A life without love is a sad one. But Jamie and Sophia will always know that they are loved, so they will not have terrible lives" reassured Raya.
"I never got to see Jamie when he was this small, and I'm sorry that you had to raise him by yourself. The pictures he gave me, don't make up for the fact that I wasn't there during his childhood. I'm so sorry I couldn't be there when you gave birth, and it kills me to think of you all alone in that hospital, and in pain" apologised Sirius.

"Don't go beating yourself up, for it's not your fault. Besides, I don't even remember giving birth to Jamie, since I was unconscious. And even though giving birth to Sophia was painful, I would go through all that suffering again, to get this beautiful little girl" admitted Raya.
"You deserve better. You shouldn't have had to go through it alone" replied Sirius.
"I know. But there is nothing we can do to change our circumstances. The Ministry are always going to think that you're a murderer. And they are going to keep breaking into my house, until you are recaptured".

Sirius frowned, "What do you mean the Ministry are going to keep breaking into your house?".
"Breaking in, is a strong word, since the protective enchantments around the grounds prevent anyone from getting in. But when the Ministry officials turn up with a warrant, I have no choice but to let them in, or be arrested the next time I leave the house. So, I have to let them search the manor for you, as many times as they like. And the minute you allowed me access to your vault, you told the Ministry that we were in contact, which is why they are convinced that I'm hiding you" revealed Raya.

"I was trying to help, by giving you money" Sirius said awkwardly.
"I know, and I'm very grateful for what you did. But all good deeds have consequences. And now the Ministry are even more suspicious of me than they were before. Having another child also added to the suspicion. But I hope that for now, I have put them off the scent. However, I fear that they will never stop searching for you" replied Raya.
"I fear you may be right. No one has ever escaped from Azkaban before, which is why the Ministry are so desperate to get me back. Sometimes I consider handing myself in, so that the Ministry will leave you alone" sighed Sirius.

"I know that things seem desperate right now, but you can't lose hope, Sirius. You will find Peter, and put right that wrong. We will get our revenge on the traitor. You can't give up. You have to remember who you are fighting for" said Raya, as she stroked the back of Sophia's hand softly.
"You're right, as usual" admitted Sirius.
"Your family needs you alive, so don't go doing anything stupid and reckless" warned Raya.
Sirius grinned, "I will never make a promise like that. Reckless is my middle name".
"How did I know you were going to say that" sighed Raya, as she rolled her eyes in dismay.
"Because you know me so well, my love"
"Yes, unfortunately I do".