My slice of life

わIdkわ -(eng)

Hey everyone

I just kind of have this conversation all the families with brother and sisterhood have at least once in life. It's about the fact of preferring one of the children. And there's maybe a thousand stereotypes about this like the parents always prefer the youngest or there's also the one about the mother loving more the boy and the father loving more the girl. But i'm not exactly going to talk about this.

I'm going to talk about the arguments of the parents because as they say they "love all their children in a different way". But what is that all about ? Why because you had one child before, you will do things in another way ? Why if you decide something for one you do it for the other "in another way" ? I think that all these things that are forbidden to me i'm going to write them on my agenda and i'll see if my little brother can do or have these before. Because what they don't understand is that when we started the conversation, I was not thinking of anything like i'm jealous or anything. I was just thinking that I, with my whole personality and thoughts, is more difficult than him to take care of, that I was nothing sweet. So when I said to them that I thought they liked more my brother and they overreacted, I was thinking that for now, he was still young, he was cute and that he could be whatever he wants later. And maybe he would be a great person in the future. In fact, about when I said I wasn't jealous, this was not a lie but barely could be. It's been a while since I think that being a boy wouldn't be anything bad.

So yes in fact, having a brother sometimes makes me upset, even if I love him and everything he's cute whatever, I think that being the old one is not the best for me. Because i'm egoistic and that is okay. I don't even understand myself sometimes.

Well, you know that I hate some fictional characters with no reason. A bit weird, they're too much happy, too idealistic, too loved or anything like that, it's enough for me to really hate some of them. (I'm not one of these haters or something like that, I'm respectful to the one who like them (not the ones who love them)) So all this to say that this fact just upon here, is the starting point of this damn conversation.
Sometimes I just ask myself: "why isn't that possible to just hate a character like this, with no reason ? You don't need a reason to hate a character. They're like they are and that does no matter."
"If there's someone in the real life, someone I don't like, does it need a real reason ? Or that's just a feeling you have like that ? like: Oh this one i'm sure she's cool, or: this one must be awfully boring so I won't talk to him. I think that's how some real people do."
"And what if someone you're upset at needs a reason about this ? Do you tell him like: no I just had a bad feeling on you this one time and since we didn't talk so... or more like: Oh, that's because, you know on the first day of school you said my dress didn't look nice so it hurt me. We all know we would choose the second, just because people love to understand, and that if you say it's just a feeling they won't. And because it's not possible to say that. I wish I could understand this thing to say something which's not true, only to please the person you're talking to."
"And what if after having explained to someone why you were upset at them, they try to become better and even redeem from what they think they did wrong. They didn't do anything, that's just like it is, you don't exactly like them and this doesn't really have to change."

Don't know the title I've just been overthinking.

~~~~~~~~~

see you in hell
きらりん