she dances. struggles in a tiny room. the walls seems too close. she would choke herself to death if nothing kept her alive. it happens to her to have dreams. some envy, and the nightmares type too. she would like to fly. but not in the far upon sky. she only wants her own body to become strong enough to push her towards a pole. flying above the world. this seems so wonderful... why couldn't she be... someone else ?
sometimes she wishes too, why couldn't she be a he. wouldn't it be way easier ? but how to do this ? how can we change identity ? she thinks her name's too heavy to wear. too long. whether she's a boy or a girl. she doesn't like it. but we cannot wear off our own name just like this. and she doesn't even have any nicknames. she wishes so hard to become someone else.
she feels spied. her mother always on her back so that she cannot do anything, even at night she needs to be careful and whatever. what does it mean? cannot we just do whatever we want at night ? to draw, dance, text, write, read, smile or cry ? can't we be whoever we want and that no one's watching us ? if she could lit up the light at night since she was a child maybe she wouldn't have those eyes problems. if she could sleep she swear she would. but when she can't? if she only needs to occupy her mind, is she really supposed to stay in the dark only looking at the ceiling ? it's not like she did not like the darky atmosphere of it at all, but she would have liked at least not to be told off if she tries to do something, whatever it might be.
drops of blood and tears on the ground. that she must erase. wash out before anyone find those. stay alert. being just an empty body for a few secs. no thoughts. she wished she could become someone else. whoever it is. at least with an understandable personality, to be accepted.
and some nights like this she becomes nothing. stops thinking. becomes the music, melting in it. It's better if she doesn't understand the lyrics. forgetting it all. washing her mind. getting cleared of all that libido. pushing every parasite thought away. becoming another self.
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this can seem not surprising to you, but I'm a gumi kinnie... and a bit gakupo one too, but only a little, and for now no other vocaloid... always the craziest m(._.)m
don't know what to think about it then...
and I thought I could put in another chapter the whole list of my kins... and I will explain a bit, off course, why them and everything about it...
love you ♡
embracing the night
きらりん
YOU ARE READING
My slice of life
Poetry~All of us is smiling when you cry All of you is crying when I smile All of them is sleeping when you're awake When you're an other thing than me~ This is gonna be like a kind of safe place. Somewhere where nothing that I say could be bad or even...
