Out Of My League

- thirty two -

I'd chucked all of my belongings into my suitcase and called Maggie to come and get Shark - I can't leave him by himself.

I left before she arrived, making sure Shark was alright before locking the door and slipping the key under the doormat.

I called an uber to get me to the airport. My flight home was tonight at 9 but I can't wait around here, not after what she's done. I'll just sit in the airport for a few extra hours. 

My uber arrived and the driver got out to put my suitcase in the boot. I got in the backseat as he put my bag away and returned to the drivers seat, starting the car and beginning to drive. I just stared out of the window at her house as we left.

Wait. Is she going to be annoyed that I just called an uber to her house? Actually, fuck her. I don't care about how she feels anymore. I don't even want to say her name.

Luckily, the driver wasn't one of those ramblers. He just did his job and drove, no small talk. That was exactly what I needed right now; I'm not in the mood to talk.

I sat on my phone, trying to navigate the screen through the hundreds of cracks that it got from its brief meeting with a wall.

God, why did I throw it? Now I can barely make out the apps. At least it's replaceable - I don't know whether my love for her is.

Fuck. Why did I get so attached? All for her to chuck it down the drain and leave me like I'm just nothing.

My eyes began to well up again but I quickly snapped out of my gloom and wiped them away.

My phone buzzed in my hand. I could just make out the name: Maggie.

Oh Jesus, do I really want to be talking with her? Not particularly. But it's Maggie. I can't not answer. This isn't her fault after all.

I took a deep breath and accepted the call.

"Hello." I opened.

"What's going on Y/n? I'm at Billie's and you're not here. Why did you want me to pick up Shark." she asked, concern audible in her voice.

"Um... I... I have my flight to catch." I said shakily.

"I know you're going home, but it's not until late tonight. You haven't even said goodbye. Is everything alright Y/n?" she asked.

I feel bad. She doesn't deserve this. 

"I'm sorry for not saying goodbye, I just need to go home. Thanks for everything."

"What's going on?" she asked again.

"Ask your daughter." I replied. "I'll see you around Maggie. Give my love to Patrick."

I hung up before she could say anything else. I don't want to talk about what's happened. She'll find out soon enough anyway.

She called again and I just declined it. After a few more tries, she gave up and my phone returned to its lock screen.

I hadn't changed the background. It was still that picture of her. I don't know if I want to change it, nor if I can. Really, I should, but I still love her.

How can I still love her?

Interrupting my stream of thoughts, my phone rang again. 

Oh fuck. It's her.

I'm not giving her the satisfaction of a conversation. She doesn't deserve anything from me. Decline.

Moments after, it rang again. Same number, same person. Decline.

Again. Decline. Again. Decline. Again. Decline. The cycle repeated until finally, I caved.

I firmly tapped the green button and held the phone to my ear.

"Leave me the fuck alone." I angrily insisted down the phone, hanging up straight away.

She obviously didn't get the message as she rang again. This time I just turned my phone on silent and let it ring. I don't care anymore.

I don't know what I'm thinking right now. To be honest, I can't even think straight. I just don't understand what I did to deserve this. Is there something wrong with me? Did I hurt her? I don't know.

The incessant ringtone continued echoing into my ears as thoughts flooded in my head.

Why would she be calling if she didn't care about me? Why would she be calling if I ruined this relationship?

Jesus Y/n shut up. Stop blaming yourself.

I'm not picking up the phone - no way. I stared at the screen as it repeatedly flickered from the lock screen to an incoming call, her face plastered on both. She's so gorgeous. How the fuck could I think I had a chance with her?

"We're here Miss." the uber driver said. 

I looked up and we were parked in front of the entrance to the airport. I was so busy encapsulated in my own thoughts I hadn't even been paying attention to where we were.

"Um, thanks." I said, quickly shoving the phone into my pocket, unbuckling my seatbelt and getting out.

The driver got my bag out of the boot and got back in his car to continue on his way.

I stood on the pavement for a minute, people barging past to make their way inside the airport. This is it. It's over. 

I composed myself and grabbed the handle to my suitcase before walking through the doors and into LAX.

My heart feels like it's been shattered into a thousand pieces, but realistically I should be happy. If she did that to me, she never loved me.

That woman never loved me.