Out Of My League

- forty five -

We both sat on the sofa, hand in hand, our eyes fixed on each other. I couldn't tell whether Billie thought I was bluffing.

"I'm serious Bil." I said as I gave her hands an encouraging squeeze, "I love you and I want the whole fucking world to know."

Okay, maybe that's a bit dramatic. I'm not exactly jumping at the idea of coming out everyone and being labelled as Billie Eilish's girlfriend, but I have to deal with it at some point. If Billie and I are going to have a serious relationship, I have to put myself out there.

"You play the guitar, right?" Billie asked me, clearly deep in thought.

What? How is that relevant?

"Yeah..." I hesitantly replied, still having no idea as to why she wants to know. I thought we were getting deep about going public, not evaluating my mediocre music skills.

"You can play then, at the show, and we can announce it together on stage. We can tell everyone about us." she excitedly said as she stood up. 

I can't believe how happy the prospect of us going public makes her. I didn't realise it was such a big deal until I saw the look on her face.

"I don't know how I feel about the whole guitar bit." I shared, "But we need to do this."

"Fuck it!" Billie eagerly declared as she pulled me up off of the sofa. "I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW I'M IN LOVE WITH Y/N FUCKING L/N!" she shouted.

I pulled her close and wrapped my arms around her body, holding her tight, as we both happily laughed. She mirrored the gesture and rested one hand on the back of my neck.

I fucking love it when she holds my neck like that.

"I love you Bil." I calmly said, my head resting on her shoulder. 

"I know mamas." she confidently boasted.

"You're supposed to say 'I love you too' you know." I replied, trying not to give her the satisfaction of knowing I found her snarky remark to be funny.

She didn't say anything, instead pulling herself out of the hug and moving her hands to my hips. She stared into my eyes for a moment before leaning in and giving me a kiss.

"Is that better?" she alluringly asked as a gleaming smile spread across her face.

"I'll take it." I responded as I leant in for a kiss, our lips colliding and the butterflies in my stomach making themselves known. 

All of a sudden, the door flung open and a man with a clipboard poked his head in.

Billie and I quickly moved apart. 

"Sorry to interrupt," the man exclaimed, "but we need to do a final rehearsal."

You should be sorry Sir, you ruined a very wonderful moment.

"Yes, of course." Billie replied, eager to work as always. "Speaking of the show, we have a couple of adjustments in mind."

Okay, so we're actually doing this then.

We left the green room and made our way to the stage, Billie sharing all of her new ideas to the gentleman, who I can only assume is someone who deals with the set list. It's actually a bit embarrassing that I don't know more of her team. Either way, it wasn't really an issue. Billie did all of the talking and I just followed behind.

It's cute to see the passion she has for her shows. She wants everything to be perfect.

We reached the stage, Finneas and Andrew already in their respective areas. 

Billie ushered me next to Finneas and gave him a brief overview of what was going on. He didn't seem too bothered and simply handed me his guitar with a smile.

"Do I really have to play?" I asked Billie, whining like a child. 

"Don't be a little bitch." she joked, giving me a slap on the arm before walking to her microphone in the centre of the stage.

I placed the guitar strap over my shoulders and acquainted myself with the space.

What am I doing?

"You might want a pair of these." Finneas said as he handed me a pair of in-ears. "Also, don't panic, you'll do great."

He genuinely sounded like he meant that. I'll be fine, right?

I placed the ear pieces in my ears and a count in began.

Luckily, Bury A Friend and I Didn't Change My Number have no guitar. I spent the duration of the songs trying to familiarise myself with the metronome, count ins, and various other things that were being played into the in-ear monitors. I kind of understood it, but let's be honest, I'm 100% winging it here.

I'm just lucky the few songs I can play on the guitar are Billie's. 

We ran through the whole set list, occasionally stopping to sort out the odd rogue light or something that wasn't right. 

Thankfully, Finneas gave me little gestures and tips to help so I actually played well. Surprisingly, I didn't ruin the whole thing.

After Happier Than Ever, I assumed we were finished and placed Finneas' guitar back on the stand.

"Are we not going to run through the new song?" a lady asked.

New song?

"NO!" Billie quickly exclaimed, shutting her down. "No we don't need to do that."

"What new song?" I whispered to Finneas, trying to work out what was going on.

He just shrugged, clearly as clueless as I am.

I want to know what this new song is all about. What's Billie so eager to hide?

"Right let's just call it a day guys." Billie said to everyone. "Thanks for making this rehearsal perfect. We're in for a good show tonight."

I made sure that I'd left everything just as it was before grabbing a bottle of water and walking over to Billie.

I held it out to her and she gladly took it. 

"What's this new song then?" I jokingly questioned. 

"Don't know what she's on about." Billie lied, swiftly drinking more water.

I flicked the bottom of the bottle causing her to spill water all down herself.

"Sure." I laughed as she flung water over me in retaliation.