Out Of My League

- thirty five -

Soon enough the dreaded Monday rolled around. 

I had to go to sixth form, I can't not go, as much as I'd love that right now.

I rolled out of bed unenthused and got changed. I just slung on whatever was on the back of the chair at my desk; I'm pretty sure it's what I wore the day I came home from LA, the day she completely shattered my heart.

My parents were still in bed and I left them like that. There's no point in waking them up - all they'll do is create a fuss over me. I just want to be left alone.

I hadn't even bothered to brush my teeth. To be honest, it didn't cross my mind. I've only been thinking about her recently. I can't stop thinking about her.

Change the fucking subject Y/n.

I went downstairs and grabbed my rucksack. It was still filled with random sheets of paper from 6 weeks ago. I hadn't done any work or organising so it was in the same mess as I left it in July.

I closed the zipper and slung it onto my back, grabbing my keys, motorcycle helmet and gloves before leaving quietly out the front door and rolling my motorcycle out of the garage.

I sat on the bike and pulled my helmet over my head, clicking the strap shut. I turned the keys in the ignition and pressed the starter switch, kicking the bike into life.

I shut my visor and kicked the motorcycle into first gear, riding out of the driveway and onto the open road.

It was only a ten minute ride to school but it felt so comforting. I'd forgotten how amazing riding makes me feel. 

Soon enough, I was parked up inside the gates and making my way into that hell hole for my final year. The buzz of the ride soon wore off as I trudged through the corridors. 

This sucks, so much.

I put my AirPods in and pulled the hood of my jumper over my head and continued into my form room, taking a seat in the corner. I had music blasting into my ears to try and drown out the morons around me.

I rested my head in my hands and just listened to the music. 

Unexpectedly, an AirPod was plucked out of my ear and I turned to see Jules beside me, a smile on her face.

"Whatcha listening to?" she said gleefully, putting my AirPod in her ear.

"Nothing." I drearily mumbled.

"God, what's up with you?" she joked, taking my phone from the table. "And what's happened to this?"

She ran her fingers across the numerous cracks on the screen. I didn't say anything and just double tapped the side of my AirPod, resuming the music.

Within seconds, it was paused again. Jules was staring at me, this time a look of slight apprehension on her face.

"What's wrong Y/n?" she said, grabbing one of my hands and giving it an encouraging squeeze.

I quickly pulled it away. That's what she did. She squeezes my hand, not you.

I could feel Jules' gaze burning into my head and finally looked up at her.

"Nothing's wrong with me, now can I have my phone back?" I asked bluntly.

"No, you can't." she replied, sliding it down to the opposite end of the table. 

"For fuck sake." I said, getting up out of my seat.

Jules grabbed my arm.

"Sit down and tell me what's going on." she ordered.

"Nothing's going on!" I spouted, "Nothing that concerns you anyway."

"Jesus Christ Y/n I was only asking." Jules said defensively, obviously hurt by my comment.

"Ladies, calm down." my form tutor said as he wandered over. "What's all this about?"

"I don't know." Jules remarked, "Someone won't tell me."

'Wow, that's rich." I snarkily replied as I flounced to the other end of the table and swiped my phone into my hand.

"Y/n that's enough." my form tutor stated. "If you can't be civil go somewhere else."

"Gladly." I murmured, snatching my bag from the floor and walking out of the door.

I wandered aimlessly around the corridors for the rest of tutor. After 20 minutes, the bell rang and I made my way to my maths class.

I didn't engage at all. I'm not in the mood to talk, or work, or do anything for that matter. My teacher came over every so often, but in the end left me to it.

After an hour, I moved to my English class. 

I didn't engage in that lesson either. I just rested back in my chair, my hood over my head and stared at the wall.

I can't get her out of my head. She won't fucking leave me alone, even after we've broken up. How am I still so attached? She completely ruined me and I still can't stop thinking about her. Fuck, we were only dating for a month!

Her faultless face, her glistening eyes, her angelic voice, her soft hair, the rings on her fingers, the fabric of her clothes. She's just so perfect. She was so perfect.

But that doesn't matter anymore. She destroyed all of that. And anyway, she's stopped calling me. I haven't heard from her since yesterday morning. She's clearly over me. Well, that was obvious when she kissed whoever the fuck that man was.

"And Y/n, what does this theory suggest about the use of language?" my English teacher said, jolting me out of my thoughts.

"Um... it um... uh..." I said in disarray. 

"Maybe pay attention to what I'm teaching you." she remarked with a stare before returning her focus to the rest of the class.

I sighed in exhaustion and laid my head on the table. I can't think straight, and I really don't want to be here.