- thirty six -

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3pm couldn't roll around quick enough.

I'd spent the whole day alone. Socialising is definitely at the bottom of my priority list right now.

Finally, it was the end of the school day. I collected my helmet from my locker and made my way outside to the car park.

"Y/n?" Jules called as she ran towards me.

I rested my helmet on the seat of my motorcycle and sighed. Why can't she just leave me alone?

Jules didn't say a word and just pulled me into a hug, holding me for a while. I gave me some solace.

"If you don't want to talk, I'm fine with that, but I'm here if you change your mind." she said, holding me tight.

My outburst earlier was uncalled for really. She doesn't deserve to be treated like that.

"I'm sorry." I responded, returning the hug. "I'm just dealing with some shit."

"That's okay." she said, pulling out of the hug and giving me a smile. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"I really don't." I replied. 

I don't know if I can - not because of me, but I probably can't tell people I dated Billie. And, either way, I don't want the embarrassment of Jules knowing I had one of the hottest women in the world dating me, and now it's all old news.

"Okay. I'll see you later then." Jules stated before turning around and walking away.

I returned my attention to my motorcycle, putting the keys in the ignition and grabbing my helmet off of the seat.

Just as I went to put it on my head, my wrist was grabbed from behind.

"I told you I don't want to talk about it Jules." I said, agitated.

I don't know why she can't just leave me alone. I get that she wants to help but I don't need any.

"We need to talk." 

I rested my helmet back on the seat of my motorcycle and stared into the distance.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I said to her.

"We need to talk." she repeated, a modest quiver in her voice.

"I'm done talking." I said. "You're wasting your time, and mine."

"Y/n will you just hear me out?" she said, pulling my wrist and swinging me around to face her.

"Let go of me Billie." I ordered.

She did just that, releasing her grip on my wrist and placing her hands in front of her, nervously twiddling her ring. Her eyebrow began to twitch - she was beginning to tic; she's nervous, or upset, or both.

"Please Y/n." she begged.

"No Billie. Why the fuck did you even come here?" 

I'm not caving. She did this to herself. 

"Because you mean so much to me, and you've got it so wrong!" she replied.

Oh Jesus, now she's going to try and make me feel guilty or something. I'm not doing this, I'm not falling for it. Could I be overreacting? Maybe. But I don't want to hear her spew more lies.

"Go home." I emotionlessly suggested, grabbing my helmet again and fiercely slamming it onto my head.

"No Y/n. Talk to me, please!" she continued to beg as I sat on the bike and switched it on.

I didn't say anything and revved the engine.

"Y/n fucking talk to me!" she yelled, grabbing my arm.

I shoved my arm outwards, and consequently threw her to the floor. I didn't even hesitate and rode off, leaving her on the tarmac behind. I glanced at the mirror and she was sat on the ground, staring at me.

2nd gear.

I snapped my visor shut and my breath began to quicken.

3rd gear.

I continued to twist the accelerator further and further, Billie shrinking in the mirror as I sped away.

4th gear.

FUCK WHY DID SHE DO THAT TO ME?

5th gear.

The rage I felt became overwhelming. 

6th gear.

I twisted the throttle and locked it at it's maximum, my speed rapidly increasing.

60mph.

I didn't slow for the corners, I just carelessly lent the bike into them.

70mph.

She's completely fucked me over. And she wants to come back? She wants me to take her back like it was nothing?

80mph.

I could audibly hear my breathing; it was harsh and quick. My heart was pounding in my chest. My grip was rigid on the handlebars.

90mph.

I shouted in anger, in desperation.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

100mph.

My eyes suddenly widened and I gasped.

I yanked the brake lever and slammed my foot on the rear brake, turning the handlebar to try and make the corner.

The tyres screeched and the bike turned violently to the right, furiously high siding and catapulting me over the handlebars.

I flew through the air and crashed onto the ground below, my body smashing against the dirt before I slammed into a tree and the motorbike clattered on top of me, pinning me to the ground.

I was inundated in pain - my head, my arms, my legs, my back, everywhere screamed in agony. My vision became blurred and dizzy, the world spinning around me.

I winced in pain as I laid on the harsh ground, the wrecked remains of my motorcycle pressing against my legs immobilising me.

I could feel myself begin to drift out of consciousness as the pain began to overcome me.

I faintly heard the screech of brakes again but my ears were ringing, blood was dripping down my face and into my eyes; I was fighting to stay awake.

"Y/n? Y/N?" I heard Billie scream as I faintly heard her footsteps.

She collapsed by my side and grasped my head, pulling my helmet off and gently slapping me on the cheek.

"Stay awake Y/n! Don't you fucking leave me!" she pleaded, terror in her voice. "Stay awake. I'm here. I'm right here. I amjh heuyfeg... oijdbs...oijsahdfbv n"

My eyes began to roll back in my head as everything started to fade into darkness.

Stay awake Y/n. 

Stay awaklssdf.

sdfrt awjfgnyv.



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