𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 {𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘣𝘳𝘢 𝘬𝘢𝘪}

• 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐈 •

𝑫𝒂𝒉𝒍𝒊𝒂𝒉'𝒔 𝑷𝑶𝑽:
I, Dahliah Daisy James am a lesbian. I was outed and exposed by Satan herself and it hurt like hell.

It all started when I was 11. My  childhood best friend Samantha Larusso and a few other girls all started to develop crushes on the boys in our year level. Who had the best hair, handsomest eyes, coolest shoes and most importantly, who was the fastest. Whilst the other girls giggled over boys with bowlcuts and slight running abilities, I felt out of place.

I had only cared to admire those things about girls. Who had the prettiest hair, nicest eyes, best style and the most angelic laugh. I chalked it up to being less mature than the other girls.

13 rolled around and the most stunning girl I had ever seen moved to the Valley. Moon. Moon stood out as she just lit up, she always seemed to be glowing. Her smile and aura made me swoon. Sam and I befriended her and we became a trio.

The saying that there is always a duo in a trio is not always true, but for us it was. Moon and I clicked almost immediately as we shared the same music, movie and artistic taste. She was my dream girl. We spent hours together and I slowly fell for her. I didn't know this of course, my dumbass thought we were platonic soulmates. Nice cover up Dahliah, really covered up your gayness there.

Sam grew jealous of Moon and I's friendship and told me she was sick of being left out. I felt horrible that Sam was feeling that way, so I started word-vomiting. I just kept talking and talking, letting all of my thoughts out into the open. I told her all about how I loved them both differently, how I loved Sam like a best friend and loved Moon in a different way.

"I don't know how to explain it... ugh this is driving me mental! I want to be with you, but I want to be Moon's. Does that make sense?" My dumb little brain hadn't even registered what I had said. Platonic soulmates was out of the question now. I had subconsciously confessed my feelings for Moon.

Sam started at me for a moment. She thought carefully about what I had said and we decided we needed to do research. We scoured the internet and all signs pointed to a light up one:
I am a lesbian. I like women and non-men only.

I still remember how relieved I felt when I had a label for what was going on within me. A bit scared, as I didn't really know what to do with my feelings for my close friend, but at least I had Sam.

"Okay, I know this is probably really scary, but I'm here for you. I don't care who or what you like as long as you're happy." Sam told me with a warm smile.

I felt comfort in her kindness and wrapped my arms around her, embracing my beloved friend. "Promise you won't tell anyone?"

Sam nodded and promised to keep my secret, a secret.

~

Flash forward to 14 at Moon's birthday party. All was well in until spin the bottle. Long story short, Moon spun the bottle and it landed on me. Of all the people in the room, it landed on me. I expected her to grimace and ask to spin again, but she shuffled over to me, gently cupped my face with her hand and pressed her soft lips to mine.

The kiss only lasted 4 seconds, but those 4 seconds changed everything.

1 second, I was in shock. Moon. Beautiful Moon was kissing me. On. My. Lips.

2 seconds, I was in euphoria. I am kissing the girl I've been crushing on for a year.

3 seconds, I wished it would last forever.

4 seconds I began to panic. No, no, no.

When she pulled away, she was a faint shade of pink and shrugged like it meant nothing, when to me it meant everything. I remember abruptly standing up and rushing to the bathroom, everything blurring around me.

I locked the door and ran my fingers through my hair. I was not okay. I would never love a boy. I was forever different. I didn't love boys, I loved girls. If anyone besides Sam knew, they would all look at me differently, because I am different.

Different.

~

It's been a year since that party. I had changed, Moon had changed and Sam had changed. Everything changed. Sam and Moon spent their summer with Yasmine and a bunch of boy bullies. They changed my two favourite people into people I hate.

Sam and Moon stood by Yasmine and Kyler as they tormented others, tormented me.

I befriended two boys, Eli Moskowitz and Demetri Alexopoulos, both nerds. Funny nerds, the good type. They both fell victim to Yasmine and Kyler's bullying and I defended them the best I could.

They had the upper hand however. Yasmine knew about me and before I knew it, everyone did. Dahliah James is a lesbian. Everyone knows. Everyone.

Sam enraged me the most. We had been friends since our mothers had been pregnant. We walked, talked, played together, held hands on the way to school together and had made so many memories that years are defined as "the time Sam and I did this" or "that was when Sam and I went there".

All for nothing. I had trusted her, she had turned against me and hasn't apologised. I hate her. I hate Sam Larusso.

Last year, a new kid Miguel Diaz moved. He told us about his karate Sensei and encouraged Eli, Demetri and I to go. I was hesitant, but when he beat the shit out of Kyler and his bitch boys, I was sold.

I became the second female Cobra and Aisha and I became best friends. She is so funny and nice as well as vicious and badass. Sensei Lawrence is a great teacher who had taught me to not take shit from others, as well as knowing where to draw the line between being badass and being an asshole.

Eli had changed the most. He went from shy Eli to confident Hawk. I loved his confidence, but it was tipping into the asshole territory, so I've been keeping an extra eye on him lately. Demetri hasn't been the most accepting of his new persona which has caused a slight strain in their friendship.

Eli is currently dating Moon. I felt weird about it for a while but I've grown to not care. I have not forgiven Moon, but she as apologised so I know I can't ever be fully mad at her, especially since we were such good friends. They weren't the only ones getting into relationships however.

Miguel and Sam.

Now I was pretty pissed at this. Miguel knew what Sam did to me, and he still dated her. "She feels sorry" or "she didn't mean it" was all Miguel could say, but I don't think anything could make me forgive her.

Miguel and I weren't friends for a while, but when Sam broke up with him, we silently ended the ongoing argument we were having.

The All-Valley Under 18 Karate Tournament came and went. I made it to semi-finals and was eliminated by Robby Keene. His shoulder was in pretty bad shape after Eli kicked it in the round before, causing him to miss out on the semis. I didn't target his shoulder because I'm not a dickhead and Robby and I get on fine. We're civil and have a few conversations every now and then. His Sensei is Sam's dad, so I don't know if we'll ever become besties.

Miguel won. Not in the best way, but he still won. I was so proud of him and I knew that he deserved a win. Aisha and Sam resolved their issues after Sam stood by and did nothing when Aisha was being fat shamed by everyone at school. Aisha caved and agreed to give her a second chance.

Surprise, surprise, I've gotten a total of zero apologies from Samantha Larusso.

I had changed because other people and everything had changed around me. I was betrayed and hurt by the people closest to me. I just wish that someone would hold me without hurting me. They'd be first who ever did.
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Authors Note
I wrote this chapter and it got deleted so this is a rewrite. Many tears were shed.

Lemme know what you think :))