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My worth is based on my anxiety.
Mental health issues.
The biggest mistake of my life was telling my desi parents that I was sick.
Because 15-year-old Inaya never thought that her father would use that to point out her flaws.
"I yell at you because I care for you."
"Inaya hasn't been eating for a week. She's only starving to get out of school."
"Why are you crying? You always cry, I didn't do anything!"
"You're always on your bed, why don't you go to the living room and talk to me."
"She's stupid, not even a human."
I've been lying. According to my father, I am a master manipulator.
"I've never said that in my life before, Inaya. I am your father, respect me."
"She's lying, why would I say such a thing?"
"I never bring up her depression or anxiety."
Am I going crazy?
Am I making this up?
What is going on?
"We all get anxiety in the morning Inaya, just listen for once and wake up earlier!"
"Your stomach is hurting because of your anxiety."
"...It's because of your depression."
"...You're starving yourself because you want to get sick."
"...Anxiety."
"...Depression."
"...Eat!"
Why do I have so many mental illnesses?
Allah, I'm sorry for ripping the packet and stealing one pink beaded necklace from Dollar Tree when I was 12 because I wanted to dress up as a hydro flask.
I swear I won't do it again. Please make my family treat me normally.
The door to my room flies open and tiny little Omar wattles in.
"A funny-looking man gave me candy today." He tells me with a wide grin.
"Excuse me?!" I say getting up and carrying him.
"Yeah. He was like a giraffe. He had tattoos and ketchup on his shirt, I'm not sure. But he did give me candy." I stare at my nephew, worried but he was just sucking on his lollipop while singing nursery rhymes.
He drops his lollipop on the ground and mumbles, "Cazzo, Rocco." Italian? Rocco...Rocco Russo? My Russos?
