𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧

23

I haven't felt like this in years.

I can't stop thinking about how I'm not enough for anyone.

Everything I do isn't enough.

I wrap my fluffy red blanket around my body as I rock back and forth staring out the window at the dark black sky.

My thoughts are filled with all sorts of worry to the point where I forgot how to breathe.

I always tend to ruin everything.

My mother and father are getting worried which this the most ironic thing of it all.

You know something is really wrong when the people who treat you the worst start to feel scared for you.

Amma thinks I'm really sick so she has been bringing me food every day for the past week.

It feels nice being cared for.

I snuggle into my blanket as I close my eyes when I hear a loud clicking noise erupt from my window.

I peek over and see a large figure entering my window.

Ya, Allah.

Am I seeing things now?

I'm going to die today.

I recite Ayat al-Kursi as I rub my eyes and look back at the figure who is still there.

Another figure enters my eyesight as it mumbles, "Fuck." A man murderer.

Oh my, Allah. It's a person.

"Inaya." It knows my name?!

"She's probably asleep." A woman murderer.

"No, she isn't. Inaya, get up or I'm throwing this mirror at you." These voices are so familiar.

"Haba laba daba," I mumble incoherently to scare the murderers away.

"Okay, she's definitely awake. I'm going to jump on her." The woman murderer tells the man murderer and I hear him hum in approval.

I don't have any weapons for self-defense next to me but I do have my hands so maybe I can pull their hair.

But what if they're a hijabi murderer and the man murderer isn't her mahram? But you shouldn't be a murderer if you're Muslim.

I feel a body land on me and this woman murderer starts tickling me.

Oh my Allah, I've heard about ticking people to death but I never thought it was possible.

She feels my head and I feel her hand move to grab something as she wraps a scarf around my head.

Awe she's covering my head before she kills me.

The bare minimum but highly appreciated.

"You can turn on the lights now." The very familiar voice says and the lights flicker on.