Pretty lies

thirty one- real talk

Isadora Rose:

Sitting around the table, there a chats and laughs flying from end to end. I can't help but feel alone in this room full of people.

Tristan says this will lift my spirits and even Frankie agreed. They don't want me to take anything, so they have been finding other ways to keep me sane.

I don't really drink. I'll have a glass on New Year's or I'll take a shot if everyone else is. But something inside me stops me from reaching from that next glass.

Some would say its a coping mechanism, like laughing at bad news or picking at my lip. It feels more powerful than coping. More power is held by the voice telling me to stop.

I can picture a little Isadora, crying on the curb because her parents are passed out at home. That is powerful enough for me to stop.

The steaming food on my plate stays where it is, only to be occasionally swirled with a fork. I am not in the mood to eat.

"Do you not like it, Miss Rose?" A woman in a black dress asks sweetly.

"No, thank you, it is lovely." Her face is calm and almost motherly. Some people have that aura about them and she most definitely does.

"It is okay. Frieda will get you new food-"

"It's alright. I just don't have an appetite at the minute." She eventually takes that as a good enough answer and leaves with an empty glass in hand.

I turn back to face forward and I am met with his gaze. He had probably watched the conversation, I wouldn't be surprised.

It wasn't as if we were far apart, only by a few feet. A gaze such as his would become obvious from such a distance. But he knew that, it wasn't a bother to him though.

He mouths the word 'eat' with his teeth gritting beyond his rosy lips. My eyes peer down to his plate and it is already clean. We must have been sitting here a while as nearly everyone's plates can be viewed the same as his.

I bring up a helping of food to my mouth, holding our eye contact as I bite down. A glimmer of pride flashes in his eyes as I swallow. He nods his head at me before standing up and leaving the table.

"Someone's in a mood." A blonde boy says from the seat next to Alessandro's. He looks really fucking young, a bit too young to be here and drinking a glass of wine.

Tristan hums in response as I keep my head hung. No one says much else other than a few 'have a good day's before we all leave.

The house is huge and I haven't had a chance to explore, so why not do it now.

Each wall is covered in beautiful oil paintings and floor to ceiling windows, opening up onto the scenery around us. It's beautiful this time of year.

I dart around to see Alessandro perching behind me on a window sill. His powerful frame towers over mine as puffs out his chest.

"I said its beautiful this time of year." He repeats in a softer tone of voice.

"Yeah. Yeah it is, but I prefer the winter."

"Why would you prefer winter? Its cold as shit."

"Well, this is that awkward season between autumn and summer. You know the one where it rains one day and you're sweating the next. Its awkward."

"I don't mind it."

"Well, you just wear suits all the time so you should be able to understand my feelings. I'm sure you get hot all the time."