Their Little Beauty (MxMxM+)

Chapter Twenty-Six: Is Briar... sick?

Where am I...

Upon awakening, that was Briar's first thought. Because while the room still looked like his, he definitely didn't remember owning so many stuffed toys that he could barely see the duvet. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes and sitting up, he looked down at the toy in his arms with a slight frown. 

"It's a... fox". 

While it was the typical orange with black ear tips and not bright pink, it was still reminiscent of Jesse. Maybe it was the playful glint that the manufacturers had somehow imbued into the animal's face, but it left him smiling and hugging it close for a moment. 

Now he remembered why he was surrounded by an army of cotton soldiers. While in that, 'Little' space Quinn had mentioned before, he had gotten sleepy. But after being shown to the man's collection of stuffed animals to pick which ones he wanted to sleep with... well, he had wanted all of them. And Quinn, the softie he was, saw no issue with that. 

"This is ridiculous" he chuckled to himself, shaking his head. And where was the shame or fear he was waiting on? It wasn't swallowing him whole, as it had the twice he had regressed before, or even when he would think about it. No, in fact at that moment all he could think about was how much fun it had been. Who would have thought rolling around in a pile of frosty leaves on a freezing morning with another man- completely clothed- could have been so fucking fun?

Looking back with his adult intellect, he could now see the way Devon had forced down his pancakes- all three- with a kind smile. How the man had watched over him and Jesse while they played, which had been so much fun Briar could already feel a slight thrum of excitement under his skin at the prospect of doing it all again. And Jesse... sweet, funny and playful Jesse.

Oh, Jesse. They must have felt so awkward this morning. I need to apologise, to all of them.

So, while he stripped his clothes off and rummaged around for something comfortable to wear, he thought about what exactly to say. Did he finally get the escorting off of his chest and out into the air, leaving whatever was going to happen to just, happen? Or did he keep it to himself and wait until he was ready? 

In all honesty, he didn't think he would ever be ready. Briar had gotten to know himself better over the months since Harlow's influence hadn't been hanging over him, and knew that if given the opportunity, he would avoid any and all situations that could cause him more emotional pain. 

That sounds like a very sad and lonely life... why am I doing this to myself?

Only one thing truly mattered when it was all boiled down to the basics: did he want more than friendship with Devon, Quinn and Jesse? Yes, he did. Ideally, being part of their healthy, happy and loving relationship was the perfect happy ending Briar never knew he had ever dreamt of having. But now, he wanted it desperately. 

And to have that... I need to be honest. Believe in them. Like Quinn said, they're here to stay. I just need to keep trusting them.

Sucking in a deep breath and tucking his hair behind his ears, Briar opened the bedroom door and prepared to go down the stairs. But, needing a little extra courage, he picked up the Fox Stuffy and carried it down with him. 

You can do this.

***

Briar had only been sleeping a few hours, the sky outside just gone dark. As such, the delicious scent of spices flowing through the house could have only meant Quinn had made dinner. Following the sound of chatter and clinking cutlery, he found himself in the dining room.