HOWL | REMUS LUPIN

TWENTY-ONE

- CHAPTER 21 -

❝Lose your goddamn feelings!❞

Hogwarts, sixth year.

EVER SINCE THE Hogsmeade trip, Regulus and James had started to hangout a lot more. Every night, they'd sit together near the tree and smoke while looking at the Black Lake. James had even gone as far as calling the tree theirs and theirs only.

Some nights, they wouldn't talk at all. Just sit in a comfortable silence and spend their time merely in each others presence. However, some nights, they'd talk a lot. About life, about studies, about their interests and so much more.

Even though the older boy's friends had noticed it, they didn't ask him about it and kept quiet about the whole ordeal.

After 6 whole years, this was the first time they'd seen James be so content with his feelings. In the past, he would always be very self conscious due to Lily's constant rejections.

However, after being with Regulus so often, he had actually stopped pestering the girl once and for all. Lily Evans had noticed that and even though she should be happy about it, she felt quite sad that the boy was starting to fade away.

"Phoenyx? How's James doing? I-I haven't heard from him in a while," she said to his little sister.

"Oh— um he's doing really well," she replied with confusion.

Phoenyx looked over at their other friends with helpless eyes. She was surprised to hear the redhead talk about her older brother with so much care present in her voice.

From the corner of the room, Marlene scoffed while painting her nails. She and Lily had actually fought about the topic just a few hours ago.

"Little Evans here misses your brother Nyx," she said while rolling her eyes.

"You- what?" Phoenyx said with shock.

"I-I guess so, yeah. I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys before, but I actually think I like him now," Lily said hesitantly.

At first, Phoenyx had been surprised. But then, after a few seconds, she felt a little upset. Not upset because her best friend didn't tell her, but upset because the girl was telling them all of this right after James had started to be so happy.

"Lily, he's finally starting to loosen up on you, and now you're telling us that you like him?" Phoenyx said with hurt present in her voice.

Phoenyx Potter had loved her brother a lot. Watching him pine over Lily for all these years had been quite hard on the girl as well. All this time, she would have to hear Lily complain about her brother's antics and at the same time, she would also have to hear her brother talk about the self hatred he had towards his own self.

Phoenyx was the one person that James would open up to so easily. And knowing the horrible mental state her brother used to be in, she couldn't help but worry.

"I'm sorry, how was I supposed to control my feelings?" Lily said while standing up.

"Just stop then! Do what James is starting to do, lose your goddamn feelings!" Phoenyx shouted with anger.

One of the main reasons why Phoenyx was so angry was because she had actually talked to her brother about his mental state. After all these years, it was the first time she had seen her brother look so content about Lily's hate towards him.

"I think i'm starting to lose my feelings for Lily. I'm happy about it, I want to stop being such a bother to her anyways," he had said with a frown.

His words had left a huge impact on Phoenyx. Watching her brother be so annoyed at himself had annoyed the girl too. Sometimes, Lily would go way too far with her hurtful words towards James.

Glaring at Lily, Phoenyx stood up and walked out of their dorms and into the common room.

"Nyx? What are you doing here?" came the voice of James Potter.

Giving no reply to her brother, Phoenyx sat next to him and leaned her head on his shoulder, hoping that he hadn't heard any of the things the girls were talking about.

"Nyx? Can i tell you something?" James asked with hesitation.

Nodding at her brother, Phoenyx couldn't help but feel worried at his confused and lost eyes.

"I-I think I like Reg. I'm so sickening Nyx. How could i fall for someone so fast after having feelings for Lily? I'm a horrible person Nyx. I'm absolutely horrible."