HOWL | REMUS LUPIN

THIRTY-NINE

- CHAPTER 39 -

❝Shut it Potter.❞

The Potter Manor, post war.

FOR JAMES AND REGULUS, life was going by extremely fast. Some days it would be James with Sirius, some days it would be Regulus.

Both of the two were connected to the boy in different ways but overall, very worried about his well-being and future. Due to that, they'd barely had time for themselves amidst it all.

Not only that, James also had to be with Phoenyx during the full moons now. Sometimes, Sirius would tag along and Regulus would be all alone.

"Prongs, you're not ignoring my brother, are you?"

"What? Mate, of course not!"

"You lot worry too much about me, have some time to yourselves please. I'll be okay, i'm a strong boy."

James looked at his best friend with a worried glance. Seeing the look on his face, Sirius went forward and hugged the boy as tight as he could.

"Thank you James. I'm going to be okay, really."

When James walked into his room, Regulus was fast asleep on the bed. It was true that sometimes, taking care of others can really take a toll on you.

Laying down next to the boy, James looked at his boyfriend with fond eyes and a small smile. What did he do in his past life to deserve him?

"James?"

"Reg, i'm here."

The younger opened his eyes and turned towards the latter. He had been awake all this time, just laying in bed and thinking about life.

Regulus pulled the boy closer to his chest and planted a soft kiss on his lips. Opening his eyes once more, he looked at James once and for all.

To Regulus, James was like the sun. The sun, it's always there. It shines, it shines so bright. Get a bit too close and it might burn you. At the older boy's every touch, Regulus would feel a burning sensation atop his skin.

"Reg.."

"What's wrong James?"

You know when you have days where nothing goes right. You feel like giving up and never looking back. At the end of it, you bottle up all your emotions and suddenly, someone asks if you're okay.

That's your breaking point. Just a simple, are you okay?

Regulus pulled the shaking boy closer to his chest, sitting upright, he rocked the two back and forth trying to calm the boy down.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

Ever since they were young, James was always trying to act like a pillar for Phoenyx. He was the oldest between them. As for the Marauders, he wasn't the oldest, but he still tried to act like one.

For some reason, James would feel like meeting up to everyone's expectations, no matter who it was. Whether it be the teachers, his parents, his friends or even a random stranger he'd meet on the street.

In simple words, the boy was extremely self conscious. He would always think, am I good enough? Am i doing this right? Is this okay?

And now, watching Phoenyx be in pain, Sirius go through such a horrible time, his parents being so depressed for their kids, half of his friends being gone, James felt absolutely hopeless.

The first night, he cried alone in his bathroom. He didn't want anyone to see him in such a state so naturally, he spent those moments by himself.

After that, he tried to be as strong as he could towards his family. He would light up the mood for his parents, spend time with Sirius, be with Phoenyx and Remus during the full moons and just try to be as involved as he could.

Now, being alone with Regulus, having some time to themselves, James could finally break free.

"W-Why does it hurt so much Reg?"

Regulus ran his hands through the boy's hair and tried to calm him down once more. That had seemed to work, slowly but surely.

"I'm so weak, aren't I?" he asked with distaste present in his voice.

"Weak? You're the strongest person I know mon amour. Don't call yourself weak James, you're everything but that. You make me a better person James, you really do."

James looked at Regulus and smiled. Pressing his lips to the nape of his neck softly, James let out a breath towards his skin.

Regulus tightened his grip on the older boy and gulped slowly. He sucked at handling pleasure, he really did.

"James.."

James had taken the task of pressing soft kisses all over the younger's body. Hearing his name, he looked up and rubbed his finger across the boy's lips.

"Hm?"

"I love you James."

At that point,  James was sure he had stopped breathing. With confused eyes, he pulled himself up towards Regulus and tilted his head.

"What did you say?"

"Mon Dieu, you're just as deaf as you are blind. I love you James, I really do," he said with a soft smile.

At his words, the older's face broke out into a big grin. Regulus loved him. Regulus Black, he loved him.

"Merlin Reg, I love you too."

That night, the two finally spent hours and hours tangled in each others bodies. After so many months, they finally spent the night together exploring the possibilities they had in life.

"Do you want to go again?"

"Shut it Potter."