I'm Not Him (Maddy Perez/You)

Baby's Here

Y/N & Maddy still fucked up as ever for now

Y/N & Leilani......possibly 🙃

Not really a Maddy chapter but she'll come around.
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Eleven hours of labor. Eleven hours of Maddy telling me to shut the fuck up every time I tried to ease her through it. I can't even act like being around Maddy don't hurt. Cause it do but I put that to side and focused on the birth of my child.

In the hospital room was only Maddy and I. I had Riley in my arms as I sat down in a seat next to the hospital bed.

The nurse came in and out every now and then to do the shit they needed to do. The other girls went to the cafeteria. So it was just us and sat in in silence. It was so awkward. I'm sure the nurses even noticed it.

"Cassie told me what happened." I hear her speak up.

"Cassie told you a lie." I respond.

"Then what's the truth? You keep saying you didn't cheat like I didn't see your dick inside her." She replies.

"I get what you saw. It's a lot to explain and I don't want to do it here. This isn't the time or place for that conversation." I say.

"The more you don't tell me, the more I feel like Cassie's side is the truth." She said.

"Maddy please." I sigh. "I don't want to have this conversation right now. I just need you to take my word for it. I wouldn't willingly do you like that. Now think about that."

I stand up carefully handing her Riley. "I'll be back. I'm going down to the cafeteria. Text me if you want anything."

I thought I had the guts to tell her but I don't. It's not easy for me to say that I've been raped. It's a hard topic.

I know that not telling her is fucking up the chances of us getting back together. But I need time to heal before we get back right.

We just might stay broken up for longer than I thought.

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Maddy's P.O.V

What does she mean by she wouldn't willingly do me like that? Did she do it unwillingly? I don't know what to believe.

I wanted her to tell me what really happened. But the look in her eyes she wasn't going to. I could also sense that whatever it is, is killing her inside.

I grabbed my phone carefully to text her because I actually did want something. That after birth hunger is no joke. While closing out of our messages I seen that she uploaded a new song.

I decided to listen to it because maybe it might give me an answer. She always talks about whatever she's going through in her songs.

Very carefully, I placed Riley in the pediatric crib. I played Y/N's song on medium to low volume because I didn't want to wake Riley up.

I could hear the pain in her voice. Like she cried while making this. She's right though. Love does hurt and it's very weird.

Hearing her thinking about harming herself hurt my heart. Hearing all of this is hurting me. This is how she really feels. I know how she is about her music.

She's not gonna lie in her songs or say something that she don't really feel. She takes it personally which is how I now know that there's way more to Cassie's story.

Whatever it is Y/N won't tell me so it has to be bad. Bad enough that she won't talk about. Over our time together, I learned she doesn't like talking about certain shit because she thinks it makes her look weak or she doesn't know how to deal with it.