10 Things: A Cody Simpson Fan Fiction

Eighteen

“Because I care about your health,” Cody softened, letting out a soft sigh. “I care about your thoughts; I care about your feelings. I care about you, Merinda. You don’t know how hard it is to live a day without worrying if something’s wrong with you… It pains me―more than you think it does.”

        Before I could even allow my brain to register my next actions, my head had already lowered my due to the shame that was engulfing me wholly.

          I guess should’ve known, huh?

          I should’ve known how Cody would be like after he had learnt about this.

          I should’ve known, I really should’ve known.

        Maybe he wasn’t being a jerk just because he was angry at me, maybe it’s just because he was disappointed in me. For hiding such a big news from him. He was my boyfriend; he had every single right to know.

          After all these said, scratch ‘maybe’ off. I know it’s only because he was upset with me, that I actually bothered to hide this away from him and hurt him twice as bad as if I actually told him about it.

        I was being selfish. I hadn’t been thinking about his feelings, or anyone else’s feelings but my own.

        Feeling my eyes burning with the tears that were springing to my eyes, I drew in an inaudible shaky breath before nodding.

          Perhaps it’s too late, perhaps it’s been said too many times, perhaps it’s of no use, but I had to do this again. I should at the very least let him know how apologetic and genuinely bad I feel about this. I couldn’t just stay here without saying anything. I would, if only I could. “I’m sorry.”

        I heard little shuffles here and there, and before I knew it, Cody had his arms wrapped around me and I was crying into his chest like the biggest baby in the world. But that didn’t matter, nothing mattered now.

          I felt a little better knowing that, maybe, just maybe, I had been forgiven, but it still wouldn’t change the fact that he might still be mad at me for that.

        I felt his chest rising again, before falling quickly as he gave out another sigh. “I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have said all that I did―that isn’t what a good boyfriend should do. I’m so sorry, baby.”

        I shook my head, trying to swallow more of the sobs that were threatening to leave my throat.

          It’s embarrassing to actually sob in front of your boyfriend. It’s unattractive and totally not worth remembering. Not to mention the fact that he was once my idol. Still is, to be honest. He’s still the best. I mean it. “It’s fine. You had every ounce of right in you to do that. I deserved it.”

        “You didn’t deserve all of that,” he disagreed almost instantly, pulling me tighter against his firm chest, “let’s just drop it, I have a feeling that this could go on, and, it wouldn’t bring us anywhere.”

        I let out a laugh and wrapped my arms around his neck, nuzzling my face in the crook of his neck.

          I missed this.

          I missed his hug.

          I missed his scent.

          I missed his skin against mine.

          I missed him.

          If I could have him forever, I swear I’ll never let him go. And I have never, in my life ever, sworn over something like that.