10 Things: A Cody Simpson Fan Fiction

Thirty-one

Cody:

          “It’s been five days, babe,” I whispered by the bed, holding her semi-warm hand in both of mine, “do you intend awakening to show me your pretty brown eyes?”

          As my own eyes desperately observed her face, or her lips, or her in general to spot just one simple movement to cause her to stir, in hope that she would finally wake up from her temporary coma, she just remained motionless with her pretty eyes closed.

          The ones I wanted so badly to just look into and apologize for overreacting five nights ago; the ones I wanted so badly to just look into and tell her a simple I love you because I never got the chance to; the ones I wanted so badly to just look into, seeing it glisten with pure joy and nothing else.

          It’s my entire fault, wasn’t it?

          “Cody,” Alli’s voice echoed behind me, trying to get me to turn around but as usual, I couldn’t bear to tear my eyes away from Merinda. What if I look away for one moment and she decides to slip right of her unconscious state? I didn’t want to miss that chance.

          I couldn’t—I want to always be here when she first opens her eyes from being hospitalized and not. I couldn’t glaze over the fact that I was the one who brought her to this state, if I’d just kept my mouth shut and tried to put myself in her shoes, stop being paranoid for one day… Maybe she’d still be wide awake, and we would have kissed and made up.

          “Cody.”

          “What, Alli?” My voice didn’t come out the way I wanted it to; weak, shaky and exhausted. Instead, it came out strong, loud, and almost harsh and I was shocked at myself because I’ve never spoken so harshly to anyone before, much less my own baby sister that I loved very much. “Look, I’m sorry—”

          “It’s fine,” Alli sighed understandingly, “I just wanted to let you know you should probably head home and catch up on your sleep—you can’t possibly stay here forever.”

          “If I have to,” I determinedly answered, averting my gaze back onto Merinda’s peaceful face, “I will. And you know damn well you can’t stop me from doing what I want to.”

          “Cody,” she grumbled, “just when are you going to wake the hell up?” She stressed, this time wrinkling her fingers slowly before her face in frustration. 

          “I was mad at you when you got her here, and I still am mad at you, but I’ve already accepted reality and I’m facing it, and the fact that Merinda’s going to stay here for more than a week. Aside from that, you’re my brother, and I can’t stand seeing you in such a state. You already flunked your last show here, are you going to keep that up or are you going to make amendments about that?”

          Receiving her words felt like I was being antagonized.

          Placing Merinda’s hand back down the bed as gently as I could, I rose from the chair and turned around to face Alli, trying to contain my aggravation, but it was too difficult because the guilt inside of me was growing more and more with every second that goes by.

          “How do you expect me to focus on everything else when she’s lying over here, on this bed, all because of me?” I didn’t want to raise my voice, but I couldn’t help it.

          I’m really, very tired of the way I’m constantly feeling because others just simply don’t understand what I go through whenever she’s unconscious, and in an unstable condition because they weren't the ones who were the cause of her in this state.