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"My mother, 'you gotta get out of bed'," I mocked. "All I kept thinking is, what is it like being dead?" "How would they react if they found out I didn't make it?" "Why wasn't I the one who died?" "Why do I always wake up with the same nightmare?"
"But are you sure he wouldn't feel the same way?" the therapist asked. "I guess he would, I wouldn't want him to go through this shit that I'm going through, even though his situation was heartbreaking and worse," I said.
"Your eyes aren't swollen, it's only red and dim," she said. "I'm aware," I put my head back. "Have you been engaging into drugs?" she asked. "Weed is drugs, so consider that a yes," I said.
"Since the incident you started smoking?" she asked. "You can say that, I use to hate it, I hated anyone that came around me with it, but he didn't really smoked around me, if he did, he took one suck and put it away," I said.
"So he encouraged you to," she said. "Aren't you listening? I started smoking since that day," I said, frustrated. "Have he ever influenced you to?" she asked. "No," I said.
"Pills?" she asked. "I don't even think he was doing that shit, you're making it seem he's a bad person," I said.
"I'm here to help you, nothing else," she said. "It's not working, that's my bestfriend you're talking about, dead or alive, along side with my brother Ylo, he's my guy bestfriend," I said.
"Was your brother there when your bestfriend died?" she asked. I nod. "Was your brother good friends with him?" she asked.
Yes, I was high in the clouds right now, but I actually knew what she was stating.
"It doesn't make sense my mother be sending me here and you're trying to paint him as a bad person, would you be that disrespectful if his brother was here?" I asked. "Am I disrespectful now?" She asked.
I glared at her. "Alright, enough talking for the day, goodbye," I got up. "You don't have to go." "I will, it's been 2 months and couple weeks now and you're still trying to get me to think he's a bad friend," I said.
"That's not what I was stating," she said. "Seems so to me," I walked out.
I shook my head and walked to Ylo's car, where add was. "Everything good sis?" he asked, turning to me and Dd.
"I want him to rest in peace, but every-time I'm here, it's always about him," I sniffles. "Don't cry," said Dd, holding me. That's when I broke down for the first time. I bawled loudly.
"I miss him." "We miss him too," said Dd, "That's the first time she has ever cried when Notti died as you can see."
"Ethan was my best-friend, he knew all my secrets, he knew I liked Dd, he knew everything, he wanted to tell you that day when the both of you was walking down the blocks," I wiped my nose.
"But he's happy right now that you and Dd are together," Ylo said. "Might be, but he deserved to see us grew feelings for each other," I said.
Dd looked at me with soften eyes. "He told me that day Y/N, he told me when he was walking off." l wiped my eyes. "What did you think when he constantly calling me lover boy when you're around? because he knew you might something to me," he smiled.
"Notti loves you, he always want the best for you, live up to his name and make him proud," said Ylo. Dd nod.
"Therapy is no help compare to this," I smiled. They chuckled. Ylo drove off.
"Can I stay over tonight?" I asked. "Yeah," he said, playing in my hair. I fell asleep.
*
I woke up. I flew up scanning the room where I was. "Hey, you're good, you're good," Ddot said, from the other side of the room. "Where's Dd?" I asked. "He went out to buy something to eat for you, but he should be home any minute now," he said.
I nod, laying down back. "Therapy didn't work still?" he asked, moving his fingers around the controller. "No, but Dd and Ylo was," I said. "It seems like you're having it hard than us, you can't let go right?" he asked.
"Can't," I shook my head. "Notti loves you, he never stopped talking about you, he loved you more than his exes, but not in a relationship type of way," he said.
"I knew he did, but I didn't know he loved me that strongly," I smiled. "He was all about you and Dd, he had no intention to like you that way."
I turned to my side and watch what Ddot was playing. The door opened, revealing Dd. "Hey baby, you're awake, did Ddot woke you up?" He asked.
I shook my head the same Ddot answered. "Me? She flew up from sleeping n****, the game is not that loud."
Dd smiled. He came to me and gave me the Chinese food. "Thank you," I said, then peck his lips. I opened the box and started to eat.
*
Ddot was gone and I was starting to feeling drowsy. "Im going to sleep," I said, turning my back to Dd. "Goodnight Y/N," he said.
I turned to him and kissed him passionately. "Thank you for being there for me, David," I smiled. "Anything for you," he kissed me. I put my hands in his hair and doze off.
