I stopped breathing. Fucking hell. Louis was here. I wasn't feeling like seeing him. Not right now. I didn't wanted to argue with him, because... Fuck, it was hurting like hell. Thinking about our fight was just crushing my heart more and more with each passing seconds.
I stood up quickly, my phone stuck between my shoulder and my ear while I was getting dressed. I really just put the first thing I found in my closet, which was a pair of jeans and a plain black t-shirt. Basic.
"Is everything alright Alexis ?" I heard Zayn asking on the phone. It's only then that I realized that my hands were shaking and that my breath was unsteady.
"Yeah, it's just my best friend..." As the words were leaving my mouth, my bedroom door opened. Louis was standing in the doorframe, his hands in his pockets. "I need to go, call you later." Without saying anything else, I hung up. I slowly put my phone on the nightstand and Louis made its way inside the room, closing the door behind him.
We stared at each other for a while, without knowing what to say. The silence between us was so awkward, which was unusual for the two of us. Louis was shifting his weight from his toes to his heels. I looked down to the ground, feeling guilty as fuck. It was all my fault. I was the one who messed up everything. As always.
"I'm sorry." We said at the same time, which put a shy smile to my lips. I looked up to my friend, he was smiling too. He made a few steps, until we were only inches apart. And then, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pressing me to his chest.
"I'm sorry for what I said." Louis whispered, pressing a soft kiss at the top of my head. "I took some shit, but I know it's no excuse. I should have never said a thing about your father, I'm sorry. And I shouldn't have pushed you the way I did. I'm sorry." Wow, three 'I'm sorry'. Louis wasn't the type of guy to apologize quite often. So I knew it was true when he said it.
"And I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have scream that way." Silence filled the room between us and I hided my face in his t-shirt. "You were right..." I whispered. And I knew he heard me, even if I had my mouth covered by his shirt.
"About what ?" He asked, putting his hand on my shoulder to push me away a bit. So that he could see my face. I kept on staring down, biting my lip. But he wouldn't let me get away like this. He put my chin up with two fingers, our eyes connected.
"About Zayn. I..." I stopped myself, because I just couldn't say those words. Not yet. I was barely able to think them, they couldn't leave my mouth.
"I know I was right." He said softly, laughing quietly. "You know what you're going to do about this ?"
I shrugged. "Nothing, I guess."
"Why ?" I looked away and walked up to my bed. Why ? Because... Because I just couldn't jump in a relationship like this. It wasn't me. And because I was too broken for that, for him. And because...
"He's still in love with my cousin." I felt Louis sitting next to me on the bed, I was staring at my knees. He put an arm around my shoulder and gently kissed my forehead.
We stood in that position for a while, until I heard the front door opening. And my personal teacher's voice from downstairs. I surely wasn't feeling like having school today.
Louis quickly fell back on his feet and grabbed my hand. He had that special smile on his lips, telling me he was having some bad idea. I followed his glance up to the window, trying to contain my smile.
"You can't be serious, Louis."
"I sure as hell am."
And I started to laugh.
