"Unconscious ? What do you mean, 'unconscious' ?"
"Fuck, Alexis ! You know what it means !" The tone of his voice took me by surprise. The few times I saw him, he seemed to me like a calm person, not the kind of one who'd scream to my ear like this. Maybe first impressions are wrong.
I heard him take a deep breath before speaking again. "I'm sorry" he apologized. "I'm.. It's just... This is shaking me up a bit. Well, a lot."
"It's... okay." I said, trying not to freak out. I was trying to stay calm, but probably failed I figured by the look on Louis' face. "What happened ?"
"Euh... You better come and I'll explain." He told me and to that, my heart stopped. What could be so wrong that he could tell me over the phone ?
"Okay. I'm on my way." And with those words, I hung up and closed my eyes. I felt the panic washing over me, making my hands shake and my mouth dry. Louis rushed to my side, putting an arm around my shoulders and pressing me to his chest. I grabbed his shirt between my fingers, trying not to have a breakdown in this very moment.
"What's happening Alexis ?" My best friend asked after a while. I took a deep breath before answering.
"I need to go to Bradford." I said, pulling back from his embrace. My best friend nodded, like he knew what I wanted. What I needed.
"I'll drive."
Oh, fucking hell, how I love him.
...
Less than an hour later, we were leaving the highway to enter Bradford. Louis was driving way faster than the speed limit and I was glad of that. Head on the window, I was hardly containing my tears. I was freaking out. Zayn was one of the two persons I cared the most in the world. I was just wishing he would be alright. I needed him to be. Otherwise... I don't know what I would do.
Mark had sent me the address of the hospital a few minutes ago, that's where we were heading to. Louis was changing lines almost every second, doing his best so we could be there as quickly as possible. I had no clue on what happened and my mind was going fucking crazy. I really was freaking out, the multiples scenarios making their way to my mind weren't helping at all.
Louis stopped the car right in front of the entrance and put his hand over mine, in a protective way. "Do you want me to come with you ?" He asked and I shook my head. No, I was going to be alright. I needed to do this on my own. "Okay, just call me when you want me to pick you up."
I opened the door and jumped on the ground. Just before closing it, I turned to give Louis a last look. "Thank you."
"It's nothing. Now, go." I nodded at his words, quickly closing the door before half-running to get inside. I didn't even heard Louis going away, I'm not even sure if he did before I passed the doors. Inside of the building everything was way too white, way too bright... I easily spotted Mark, with his curls all over his head, and walked up to him. He almost seemed relieved when he laid his eyes on me. He opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him short.
"What fucking happened ?"
"Zayn, he..." I could tell by the way his voice sounded that, whatever had happened, it was affecting him. A lot. "He tried to kill himself."
Those words hit me like a fucking train. I should have known, I should have recognized the signs, I should have done something to prevent it !
Emotions were floating all over me, but I needed to contain them. Tears needed to stay in my fucking eyes.
"Can I... Can I just see him ?" I asked and Mark nodded. He took the lead, me following behind. We took multiple turns in the hallways, before getting to an elevator. Up to level four, then more fucking walking. My heart was beating so fast it was hurting. And it became even worst when we stopped. There was just a door between me and Zayn... Mark opened it, revealing a room just like the one of my memories. Except I wasn't the one laying in the bed. No, it wasn't me, but a young British boy with dark tan and black hair. The boy who changed me in a matter of months. The boy who was making me feel forbidden things. The boy who was so important to me and there he was, laying in this bed with his eyes closed. My heart was aching at this sight and tears were burning my eyes. I wasn't one for crying, but... Fuck, this was getting to me.
"Hi Zayn, it's me." Mark said, still standing in the door frame. "Well... It's Mark. Anyway... I'm bringing you someone, I hope she'll help you..." He pushed me in the back, before leaving the room. I was now alone with Zayn and it was freaking me out. What the fuck was I supposed to say ? I had no clue on what to do, either. There was a chair next to the bed, so I supposed I needed to go there.
I stared at him for a moment, not knowing what to say or to do. My heart was aching to see him like this, unconscious in a hospital bed. I hated that. A tear rolled on my cheek, I hated myself for that. I quickly wiped it away, before taking a deep breath.
"Zayn." I simply said, my voice showing how broken it was making me feel to see him like that. "You're a fucking cunt, Zayn Malik. A so damn fucking cunt but..." My voice cut, I couldn't speak anymore. Tears were blocking my throat. An other deep breath and the words kept on escaping my lips, without me having to think about it. "Damn it, how could you ? You should have told me... I would have help you, I would have listen you. Just like you did to me. I can't believe..." I stopped myself before saying things I would regret. Before saying things like how much he meant to me and stuff like that. Opening my heart out wasn't my plan for today.
I took a moment to get myself back together, before breathing deeply.
"You really need to wake up soon Zayn Malik." I said, teasingly. I needed to say some shit or I would explode. "I need to beat your ass up for what you did. I will, I swear."
His hand was laying on the mattress and I just couldn't stop myself. I grabbed it, intertwining our fingers. I closed my eyes and bit my lips. I needed him to wake up, I fucking needed him to.
I was about to get up and leave when I felt something on my fingers. I slight pressure that made my heart beat fucking fast. Zayn. He was pressing my fingers with his.
"You... won't... be... able... to... beat... my... ass..." He whispered, without opening his eyes. And I swear, I fucking swear that, in this very moment, I was inches away of crying from happiness. Relief was washing all over me.
"Hey, I knew it. I knew you needed a bit of motivation to wake up." A smile made its way up to my lips. I had now no intention of leaving the room. That thought had left my mind the moment I felt his fingers pressing mines.
"Shut... up..." He hardly said.
"Stop talking, I can see it's hurting you. I just need to ask you one last thing."
"Okay..."
"I said stop talking, just nod if you want, 'kay ?" I smiled at this younger boy, even though he couldn't see me. He nodded and his lips turned to make some kind of a shy smile. Just seeing this almost brought me to tears. I was becoming way too fucking over sentimental.
"Can I climb in the bed next to you ?" Once again, he nodded at my question. I don't know why I asked this, I just wanted to have him close to me. I wanted to be able to feel him breath and to make sure he was alive. Alive, and with me.
Without anymore words, I left the chair and climbed in the bed. I laid down on the mattress, gently putting my head on his shoulder. My fingers once again found their way up to Zayn's ones. I let out a shaking breath, before looking up to his face.
What I saw next made me felt so much better.
Zayn's eyes. That's what I saw.
They were looking right into mine. I smiled, because I had been so afraid to never see those big brown eyes again.
I would have surely die if it had been the case.
——-
