Carolina [h.s]

twenty eight

too many days in a haze better wake up i put your face in a place where the space was nobody makes you feel like you but do i you say your souls so close to broken forever and a day that's all i got

***

Harry
//

Our show is crazy and shakes the entire festival grounds. Well, that's what I was told. Because the truth is, I don't really remember most of it.

I do remember the fireworks. Images of red-purple-blue washing over the sky. My boys played behind me as the sparks rained down and blasting a BOOM! in my stomach and behind my eyes.

When the show is over the crowd still rang in my ears as Niall buys pills off of another band's guitarist. LSD or something. I swallow one when he offers because why the fuck not.

When everything is spinning and the ground starts to melt, the rest of the night flies and all I wanna do it be by the girl who makes my heart beat out of my chest.

But strawberry blonde is stubborn, and she gives me the cold shoulder all night. "I'm here aren't I?" I whisper to her when our best friends aren't looking.

I grabbed her hips as she walked away, leading her in front of me and pushing our hips together, swaying in the crowds of people around us to the beat of another band's music. I glare at every fucker who tries it with her and ignore every girl who tries it with me.

"Hate me tomorrow, don't let anything matter right now," The sky is dark around us and nobody ever notices our secret interactions.

Gray eyes meet mine and the only thing this girl is high on is life. "I'm not the one you should be trying to make it up to." she tells me as she glances to her right.

A few feet away Zayn stands in the crowd behind Juliet. The two sway to the music, wrapped in love. "Zayn's my boy, he gets it." I tell her what she needs to hear.

But the truth is I haven't said one word to him since I've arrived. Vada knows this as she looks at me again.

"And what, I'm not your girl so I don't get it?" I hear her words through pounding music and flashing lights.

I smirk and my eyes burn a dare. "You wanna be my girl?" She reads my lips and understands what I mean.

"I can't be your girl when you're so fucking committed to something else," I know what she means too.

The thing in my back pocket cures all of my problems. But the girl in front of me causes a high I've never experienced. A high that scared the shit out of me.

I wanna tell her I'll stop. That I won't ever touch anything crushed up and white again. But then the crowd disappeared around us and the drug in my mind buzzed through my veins.

"You're beautiful," I tell her instead. Because my mind felt like it was melting and we were the only people in the world.

"You're fucked up," I read her full lips as they speak, my eyes dancing across the freckles on her nose and the shine in her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fucked up," I agreed as I felt myself laugh. "And you're beautiful. And in the morning, I'll be sober but you'll still be beautiful."

***

Production of the band we opened up for hooks us up with room and board at the local hotel. My group is out, partying and celebrating from the show earlier today. But withdrawal is strong and it took everything in me to be here and not there.