Carolina [h.s]

thirty six

***
i struck a match and blew your mind
but i didn't mean it and you didn't see it
the ties were black the lies were white in
shades of gray in candlelight i wanted
to leave him i needed a reason
***

Vada
//

The local library has its air conditioning on freezing and the air smells like dust and old parchment paper, and all the way between the many rows of shelves of books is where I've been for the past week.

Nose deep in whatever peaks my interest, I've been hiding myself away in the depths of New York's finest authors to write a literature research paper for another one of my late applications to transfer.

I've been in this exact spot for the past few days, scribbling down any information I can find. Clicking away at websites of online applications and writing down letters and phone numbers for some school, or any job at this point to just take me in.

"I've gotta get the fuck out of this town," I tell Juliet one of the first days, maybe it was Tuesday.

We sat across from each other on the carpeted floors between the bookshelves. I've already gone through the stacks of titles between us a few times, and a pencil stays behind my ear except for when I need to write down notes.

"You're telling me," Li raises one of her eyebrows, leaning back on the bookshelf behind her and a cherry lollipop between her teeth.

Without a care in the world, my best friend's attention stays on the libraries magazine section. Because with her scholarship set in stone, she's only interested in top fashion trends and Hollywood's latest drama.

"If I don't get this in soon, I'm so screwed," I sighed as I scribbled down my information on the lines of what seemed to be my hundredth application.

"You're a last minute slacker, you did this to yourself," she says, and she knows she's not helping as I send her a glare but she just smirks.

I've got six applications done for some low corporate jobs and two applications for schools. Nothing major of course, because no big university is going to accept me this late. So right now, community college was my best option until I could sort my shit out.

I've been working my ass off and putting my heart and soul into these research papers hoping in result it somehow pays off. I'm just hoping I can earn my place in the city instead of going just to free load off of Juliet's parents.

But either way, I'm going to New York fucking city.

On Thursday night I'm at one of the computers, sending emails and writing down phone numbers. The only one in this building is me and the cliche old hag who runs the place. She even says 'shh' every five minutes when she finds me talking out loud to myself.

Sat at the back row and as far away from her desk as I can get, I'm buried in a book that tells me about every kind of college course you can take. My attention has been nowhere outside of this library all week, so when a voice picks up in front of me I am immediately brought back to reality.

"I should have known I would find you in a place like this." I know who it is before I even look up.

Harry stands tall and sticks out like a sore thumb between old literature. His dirty converse makes its way over to the seat next to mine and he plops himself down with an easy smile and glowing eyes.