Carolina [h.s]

thirty

i'm a fire and i'll keep your brittle heart warm
if your cascade ocean wave blues come all
these people think loves for show but i would die for you in secret the devil is in the details but you've got a friend in me would it be enough if i could never give you peace?

***

Vada
//

"When did you get back?" My bare feet are cool on the wood of the porch, and the night air is dewy.

"Just now, I had to pick up my car at the apartment first," Harry's in front of me, a short unsure distance between us.

The porch light is off and except for the street light in the distance, my surroundings are basically pitch black. Still I am able to make out his tall figure in front of me, the cigarette glowing between his fingertips and the smoke pouring out of his mouth.

I see tired eyes, and his hair seems longer every time I see him. Curls drape over his ears and brush against his neck, every once in a while he has to move them out of his eyes. The black jeans cover his legs and his grey flannel is baggy, rolled up at the sleeves and only halfway buttoned up.

He looks disgustingly beautiful. Perks of being a sinner blessed with good looks.

"It probably isn't a good idea that you're here," I find myself saying. My arms crossed in front of me like a shield.

Trouble looks up through his eyelashes, inhaling the cigarette where another one lingers behind his ear. But I know he carries something more disgraceful in his pocket.

"What did I do now?" He questions, stepping up the first step to the patio. He throws the end of the cigarette on the ground.

"It's three in the morning, I don't want to wake up my grandma—"

When I look up he's closer than I anticipated and with every step forward I'm stepping back until my back meets the screen of my front door.

"What did you do while I was gone?" he whispers, brushing his nose along the ridge of my jaw.

His sudden presence is overwhelming after time apart. I don't have a moment to adjust before he's brushing the bangs out of my eyes and lifting my chin up.

"I wasn't waiting around for you if that's what you mean." I say back, and the marks that aren't his suddenly start to throb on my neck.

There's a beat of silence as we stare. A beat of knowing before a heart-dropping smirk forms on Harry's face.

"Say it, Vada," Dark eyes make my throat dry and I don't even hesitate.

"I was with somebody," I give him my eyes and nothing but the truth.

"Did you fuck him?" he asks. His voice is unstable and rough.

I think about lying because it's not like I owe him anything. But I hate the guilt in my voice "No," I shake my head.

"Why didn't you?" His eyes glow and his smirk deepens.

I try to step forward so there's a distance between us again. But Harry just cages me in further, putting his hands on my hips pressing his body into mine. I feel the heat of his skin and the too familiar smell of warm vanilla mixed with his tobacco.

"Why do you care? It's not like you weren't out doing way worse," I argued, feeling the pit in my stomach at the thought.

He's been strung out of his fucking mind for the past week, doing God knows what with God knows who, and he wanted to question what the hell I was up to?