Where's My Love? - Lo'ak

Chapter 8: Lilac

After finding out the news of him and his family leaving, Lo'ak fled. He had to get away, he just had to.

He doesn't want to believe it. He can't believe it.

The forest is his home. This land, these trees are his and his family's history. Leaving is like sinning to Ewya.

But his dad was clear, they have to leave, it's unsafe for them now.

So, Lo'ak ran, not wanting to hear the news, not wanting it to be a reality.

Not only is he leaving the forest, but he would also be leaving Esmyrie. His best friend.

His first crush, even if he tries not to admit it.

He blames himself. He believes if he wasn't such a rebellious child than Nilar would be alive. Nilar was where he was at on the ground because he took himself and Esmyrie down there. Maybe Nilar would of been farther away from the missile if he just stayed in the air like his dad ordered.

He also blames himself for the avatars capture.

He just wanted to take Esmyrie on a stroll to get away from the clan. He thought the forest would calm her down, maybe make her forget about the banishment, yet his rebellion again, caused things to go wrong.

He caused little Tuk to be held violently by a avatar much stronger. Kiri had a knife to her neck. Esmyrie got threatened with her queue getting cut off. He shivers at just the thought of how painful that would be.

And then Spider. His human best friend and cousin got captured by the avatars, and he has no idea whether or not Spider is alive and if so, if he is okay.

Not to mention the bruise on Esmyrie's cheek and the split lip she now has.

Lo'ak stood there and did nothing, he just watched as that avatar threatened her, held his siblings down by gunpoint and with a knife, and punched the girl he likes.

He feels like he is going to throw up at the thought.

He has tried so hard to live up to Neteyam. To be the proud son his father has always wanted him to be, but he keeps failing, over and over and over again.

Keep Esmyrie happy by having her father there for her, at all times: failed.

Keep Esmyrie safe: failed

Keep Tuk from being scared: failed

Protect Kiri: failed

Make his dad proud: failed

Be the disappointment and useless son who should just disappear: successful.

And now, here he is, his reputation continuing. He is a useless boy who keeps on disappointing. He knows Esmyrie is going to be disappointed in him having to leave, having to abandon her like everyone else, and yet he didn't even fight his father on the topic.

They just had there family night, this time instead of it being stories, it being of his fathers demand of them leaving because of the upcoming war. And he accepted it. He just nodded along and when his father was finished, left to get away.

He is always going to be a failure, that's all Lo'ak can think.

That and of Esmyrie.

He always thinks of Esmyrie.

It's like an annoying tune Tuk sings to fall asleep, always there in the back of his mind.

Esmyrie isn't annoying though, she is anything but.

She is beautiful, kind, sincere, and most of all, humble.

She knows how terrible the world can be, and instead of being angry and self destroying, she uses it as motivation to make sure no one else has to experience the pain she experiences.