A taste of freedom

Chapter 53

   It only took me a few minutes to collect everything I was going to take with me, seeing as it was just two hand guns. It wouldn't be worth it to take anything else. I'd been wearing this outfit for weeks so I decided to check the laundry and grabbed a fresh pair of clothes. It was just a brown pair of pants and a white shirt. I laced up my boots and threw on my green jacket. I glanced around the room to check for anything I might need. Two things came into my line of sight. An old barely working pocket watch and a music box necklace. I picked both of the items up and gave them a good long stare. Ray's pocket watch. I took this from him a long time ago. I can't remember the occasion on which I had actually taken it though. And I believe Ray gave me this necklace before I left the house. I quickly clasped the necklace on my neck but I kept the watch clasped in my hand. Should I take it? What if they take it from me?

     I shook off the thoughts and decided to lea e the watch behind. It's not like I'll need to know the time. I stepped into the bathroom one more time and I was surprised at what I saw. My eyes. They're completely white. I blinked a few times and rubbed them for good measure but they stayed the same. My hair was mostly still the same, other than a few strands of white here and there. I cleared my throat and left the bathroom. I didn't hear much talking going on in the bunker so I assumed that everyone was asleep. I reached the ladder with no problems but glanced back at the faint light coming from the dining hall. Should I leave a note? What about Marko? Or Ray? Or everyone else? I shook my head and crept back to my room.

    I ripped a blank page from a sketchbook that was laying about. I don't remember how I ended up with it but it was Lily's. And so, I wrote.

      "Dear everyone,
I regret to inform you that I am going away. There is a slim chance of my return but in the event that I do come back I'd like my things to still be here. If something is to happen that may destroy anything please take that stuffed bunny. I can't remember why I like it so much. It just seems important. Ray, be happy, I'm finally giving you your watch back.

    To anyone who wonders where I'm going, we'll let's just say I've been there before. There is a reason for my sudden disappearance though. I shall explain. I am slowly devolving into a lesser being, or in our words, a demon. The demons take on the traits of what they eat, so to stay human, I'd have to eat human. I refuse to succumb to that evil. Along with that, I am dying because I cannot force myself to eat anything. So it is for these reasons that I am seeking a way to change myself. Someone or something, that can fix me.

   I am truly sorry. I love all of you dearly. Goodbye - Y/n."

   I folded the letter and left it in the middle of the floor. I made it back to the entrance of the bunker and found that the dining hall light had gone out. I frowned and started to climb. When I opened to bunker and climbed out my backpack got caught. I scoffed and pulled it out, turning my head in response. I shut the bunker and stood up.  I looked around, unsure of which direction to head in. In the process I saw a speck of light in the distance. It looked like a lantern if you were to ask me. I tried to hear what was going on but it was just out of my earshot. It couldn't be Emma and the others, could it? I mean they said they'd be gone for almost 7 months, it's only been about 6. It's odd, this concept of time. I deduced after a while that it was them.

    I smiled gently for the first time in months. I wonder, should I go greet them? If I do they'll question what I'm doing. I could lie and tell them that Yuugo sent me out to hunt. Fuck it, I may never see them again. I ran as fast as I could, which was surprisingly still quite fast, considering I've lost a bit of weight. I saw the five of my friends startle at the sight of something running at them. Marko stood at the front of the group and pointed a gun in my direction. They must not be able to tell who I am. I pushed myself to go faster and I soon made it into the faint light of their lantern. I bent over to catch my breath a bit but glanced up at all of their expressions. They were surprised to say the least.

   "Y/n! I've missed you so much!" Marko slung he gun over he shoulder and embraced me tightly. "Have you been exercising a lot? You seem thinner?" I smiled lightly and nodded but kept my eyes closed for the most part, it might freak them out. "Lots of running, lots and lots." Which hadn't entirely been a lie. Marko released me and Don and Gilda were the next to hug me. "We missed you a lot Y/n! I wish you could've come with us!" Don grinned at me and ruffled my hair. Gilda hugged me tighter "it's nice to see you again. I'm excited to spend more time together." I felt my smile falter just a tad before I hummed in response. I turned to Emma and Ray who stayed quite quiet. I finally opened my eyes, figuring there would be no hiding it anyways.

    Ray was the first one to start questioning me, with a slightly disapproving look. "What happened to your eyes and hair?" I shrugged a tad "devolving" was the best answer I could give them. It was the truth too. Then Emma started with the questions. "Why are you out here so early? It's nearly 5!" I pat my backpack "Yuugo wanted someone to hunt some game and Anna and Carter asked me to pick a few herbs for them." I smiled a little with my teeth and Ray crossed his arms "why so early though?" I quickly made up a lie. "Yuugo says that night creatures taste the best and since I was already coming out here I'm grabbing herbs." Ray didn't look convinced but Emma did. She came running up to me squealing a bit and hugged me tightly.

    She pulled back with a slightly confused look. "You have lost a lot of weight Y/n. A lot more than I expected." I shrugged "guess I didn't notice." I decided to switch the topic and turned to the whole group. "Did you guys find what you were looking for? I can't exactly remember what it was you said you were searching for." I rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly. They nodded in response and promised to explain to everyone one they got back. I turned back to Ray "are you going to hug me yet?" His demeanor finally slipped and he pulled me into a bone crushing hug which I returned. He pulled back slightly and kissed me. It was nice. I savored it the best I could, hoping it wouldn't be my last. I pulled back and rested my forehead against Ray's as the others (Marko) made gaging noises in the background.

    "I have to go before all of the nocturnal animals go to sleep." Ray pulled away from me and held both of my hands. "I'll see you when you get back then?" I couldn't bring myself to say anything so I just smiled shakily and nodded. He smiled a little and kissed my forehead. I watched as my friends all walked away from me, towards the bunker while I most likely was about to walk to my imminent death. I smiled in their direction one final time before heading off in the opposite direction. Warm gears slid down my cheeks. "Goodbye."