Broken • Choi Yeonjun

Tick

I sigh heavily as I flop down on the couch, I was tired after practicing with Taehyun and Soobin all day. For days I have been at this all non-stop... It was finally hitting me how worn out I really was but, I much rather be busy then left to my own thoughts.

At this moment, I was too tired to think. My body ached, something I could focus on. Though I wasn't planning on actually watching anything, I just wanted background noise, I turn the tv on. Of course it was the news, these boys always had it on, a way for them to keep an eye out for something that could be related to demon activity or if they had been caught on camera doing something.

My eyes drift to the ceiling as I lean my head back, I let them slide shut as I just take a minute to just breath and rest. It was nice to not think about anything other than how good it felt to sit down. I really should slow down a little or I would wear myself thin. I just didn't want my thoughts going to a dark place, like they tend to do nowadays, I was slowly going crazy it felt like. Like a pot that was slowly coming to a boil, little bubbles just starting to come up from the bottom of the pot, until it turned into a rolling boil. Then the water would start to boil so hot, water would be splashing over the edges.

I felt like I was in the first stages of boiling, right before the bubbles started forming. I could feel it starting to build up... What? I have no idea but, something was going to happen. Either in my mind or out in the real world that involved me being in the mix of it all.

I bring my head up as I hear my last name on the news. The stories about me missing had slowed down, that's why I was allowed to watch the tv now. Yeonjun had banned it, the others agreed right away with him. I had tried to convince them I was fine seeing the stuff about me but, they wouldn't listen.

My mind stops as I read the caption of the story they were covering. I stand to my feet slowly, the remote loosely held in my hand as my hands start to shake, the tips of them going numb. My jaw felt slack and my eyes widened... My breathing and heart rate increase as I stand stock still.

This wasn't real.

It couldn't be, there was no way.

The remote fell from my hands, just as my knees gave out. The remote bounced as it hit the floor. I felt the jolt of my knee caps following suit.

He can't be gone...

~~

Yeonjun did feel a bit bad as he saw the girl on the floor, her eyes in a far off place as tears ran down her cheeks but, he also knew he wouldn't baby her. He wouldn't let her see that he felt bad. She needed to become numb to all her emotions if she wants to keep living with those demon fragments in her soul.

That's what he had to do, become numb. A shell of who he used to be. Emotions were a dangerous thing in any world, and humans were the most emotional species out there. Tiny weak little things, all because they let their emotions control them.

Yeonjun said nothing as he walked over and picked the remote up, shutting the tv off. She didn't even turn, to sucked into her mind to notice. He set the remote down on the table and walked out, not waiting to see how she would act when she came back to reality.

~~

It was off, how long has it been off?

"Why are you on the floor?" I blinked a few times, also realizing I had tears stuck to my lashes. Beomgyu was standing in the door way to the hallway, a bowl of something in his hands.

I couldn't form the words, I couldn't make them.

He was dead, gone... lost to this world.

How could I say that right now? Not when I had just saw it a few seconds ago.

Soobin walks in, his lips in a thin line as he walks over. He squatted down in front of me and pulled me into a hug. I didn't question if he knew why I was like this, I just started crying. Letting it all out as my shoulders and lip shook. I felt like I had been cut to the soul, something was instantly snatched away from me, I could feel the hole in my heart already. A part of me died in the span of a few heartbeats. I never knew something could happen so fast.

"He-he's-." A sob breaks my words off, I felt sick. My head and chest ached as if I had ran a mile wide open. It all felt fake, like there was no way this could ever happen.

"Shh..." Soobin shushed me as he pulled back and wiped at the tears I couldn't stop. The tips of his fingers felt cold against my hot cheeks. "I know."

His eyes said it all, there was understanding and sadness in his dark eyes as his mouth sat in a sad smile. Seeing him look at me that way didn't help, it just made it sink in even more that this was really happening.

I look over his shoulder and see Huening Kai whispering something into Beomgyu's ear. The angel's face was stiff as he spoke, Beomgyu's face sank as his eyes landed on me.

I bury my face back into Soobin's chest again, I couldn't stand the look on their faces. Pity and sadness. It made my heartache more.

"Why would you even watch the news, after what happened the last time you did?" Yeonjun would be the only one that wouldn't look at me the way the others did, in fact as I looked up to to meet his eyes, there was nothing there at all. His face was blank as always.