Broken • Choi Yeonjun

Do

Now my nights weren't just filled with thoughts on how my life was going, now I also wondered how in the world they kept up with everything that happened to them. I don't know how Soobin passed but, I heard Beomgyu's and Taehyun's story. Their lives ended because someone was jealous of what they had. They were just kids when their lives ended. Taehyun repeating that it all happened a long time ago didn't help my thoughts. 

"Evelyn, you're not paying attention." Soobin cut into my thoughts. 

I shake my head and focus my eyes back on the basketball they were offering me now. I offer an apology before lifting the ball up. It was already hours into the training session, I had already moved it around a few times. Only a few more then, hide and seek. He would hide the ball somewhere in the room and I'd find it with my eyes closed. 

I continue to move the ball while Soobin sits off to the side on his phone, looking up every once in a while to make sure I was still going. 

"Soobin, emergency call!" Beomhyu rushes in. 

I stop the ball mid air and watch them as they go to leave. Soobin stops at the door turning back to look at me. 

"Just keep going as usual, I'm not sure when we will be back so, you can just eat whenever you feel like it." He pauses, seeming to be turning a thought over. "Please, stay in the dorm, don't go out... if anything happens call one of us." 

"I will, you guys be safe." I offer a small smile while they bid me goodbye. Something in me stirred as I heard them rush down the hall. I really hope it was just me being nervous about being alone for the first time in a while. 

I focus on the brown ball, bringing it to me, then tossing it back across the room. I do this over and over, slowly feeling my head start to hurt. The past few days the headache has taken longer to come on but, when it did, it was still just as painful. Yeonjun had been easing the migraine after every training session, it was a bit awkward to say the least but, I would take the small awkward moment to ease the pain. 

Now, it was time to play hide and seek with the ball. Since no one else was here to hide it for me, I stand with the ball, closing my eyes tight as I turn slowly in a circle. I toss it and quickly cover my ears, not wanting to have any hint of where it went. I do a few more turns before I stop, waiting a moment to make sure I have my balance before I sit down, reaching out with my mind. I could picture the room in my head easily, having been in here every day for weeks now. I picture the ball as I search for it, I knew the texture of it, the height, and weight. My mind's "hand", as Taehyun calls it, brushes over something. I snap my focus on it, picking it up and feeling it over before I bring it to me, only opening my eyes when it lands in my lap. 

"Done." I sigh, that was quicker than usual. "Now what?" My eyes roam over the room, there was nothing really to do training wise. I toss the ball as I stand, I guess I could go shower and waste some time. 

I flop down on my bed, hair still damp as I let my body relax. It was so quiet with all of them gone. I was used to hearing someone yelling, or one of them coming to see if I wanted to join them in some type of activity, they seemed to never want me to have alone time anymore. I was grateful for that, they seemed to know I didn't want to be left alone with my thoughts. 

I grab my new phone off the bedside table, one they had gotten my that only had their numbers in it, knowing I may need to contact them but, not wanting to see all the messages or calls from my family. My actual phone lay in the top dresser draw, turned off. 

I stand and bring my new phone along with me, just in case one of them called. I turn some music on as I start to make dinner. I decide to go ahead and cook for all of us, if they didn't come before I went to bed, I would just write a note letting them know where I put the food at. 

So far the pain in my head had been just a little more than an ache, now as I was moving around and using my power more, like I had been told to do. "Use it whenever you can to do small task, it will help hone it more." Soobin had suggested. My headache started to grow worse but, I push my mind to stay focused on the task at hand. Taehyun was set to go see their angel boss tomorrow as long as nothing came up, to talk and see if she knew why my head was hurting me so much. 

I snap my head up as a Christmas song came on... I had forgot it was only two weeks away...

"No." I shake my head and look back down at the rice that had just finished cooking. No thoughts of the holidays. I did wonder though, were they going to celebrate it? Do they usually do that? I hope me being here didn't make them change their usual tradition. 

I take my plate and sit at the empty table, it felt so odd being here alone. Maybe I had became spoiled with not being alone. Before coming here, I usually spent my nights and most weekends like this, alone. My mom used to worry for me being alone, saying I was to young to always be stuck at home during my free time, that I needed to live life, have fun, take small risks... If only she knew how my life was now, she would definitely tell me, this was not what she meant. 

I massage my temples as I feel my head pounding, it was like a tiny human was in my skull, kneading my brain like bread dough. 

"Can you stop? I know this is your doing." I direct to the demon in my head. 

A sharp pang behind my eye confirmed my thoughts, it was his doing. 

"You mad that I'm learning to use your powers?" I should really not be provoking him right now, while I was home alone for no one knows how long. 

I groan as I push my plate away, laying my head on the hard top of the table. I feel a tear slip from the corner of my closed eye, down my cheek until it fell to the table. I suck a deep breath through my nose, telling myself to get it together, why do I fall apart as soon as I was alone? I needed to do better.