Broken • Choi Yeonjun

Fault

This all had to be fake, a twisted gut wrenching dream. I was dreaming, I needed this to be a dream... but, I knew it wasn't. 

It really was a memory, I knew it was. I was watching my father die, right before my eyes, and there was nothing I could do. 

Weak...

I never felt so useless in my life, I never felt so lost and helpless. 

I stumble forward, the hold on me gone. I rush forward, trying to grab my dads legs to lift him up. I needed to relive the pressure of the rope on his neck so he could breath, before it was too late. 

This was a memory, something that already happened, something that could not be changed. 

"No, please!" I beg as I try over and over, to grab his legs. My hands went right through them, I try the chair, nothing. I was useless. "Dad!" 

I even try to lift him with my mind like I had been doing small objects for the past few weeks but, nothing would change what was already written in stone.

I feel my legs give out from under me as my father stops moving. Then my body was jerked back, the scene of my fathers house fading away quickly. 

I was back in the abyss, where nothing but darkness existed. 

"Your fallen angel friend comes in, moments after your father took his last breath." I could feel the demon stroke my cheek, the tears running over my cheeks evaporating as his "hand' passed over them. "They all knew what happened to him yet, they didn't tell you? What a shame."

I stand to my feet, the anger boiling up inside me, helping my numb limbs move. 

"That's it, get angry! They hid this from you. The truth of your fathers death, they lied to you!"

"He died because of you... you sent that demon after him..." My voice was a breath as it came out, I didn't need to yell, there was no need for it, he would hear me. 

The red eyes blinked a few times, realizing my anger was directed towards it, not the others. 

"Get angry with me, you can't hurt me!"  Something in the demon's voice told me he was lying, he was worried. 

My hand darts out on its own accord, grabbing the smoky figure by the neck. 

"You killed him!" This time I did yell, as my vision was blurred by hot angry tears. I dig my nails into the smoke, the things neck was now solid under my hand. I dug the tips of my fingers into it, feeling my anger grow as it laughs, mocking me. 

"You're a weak foo-"

It's words were cut off as I yanked my hand away, a chunk of smoky flesh in my hands. Something hot and wet started running down my arm as the demon stumbled back, grabbing at its now gabbing throat. 

I drop the smoky flesh that was in my hands, now feeling sick once more. I fall to my knees and grab at my head, scream after scream ripped its way out my mouth, leaving my throat raw and torn. 

~~

"Wake up!" 

I jerk awake, swinging my arms widely as I jolt awake. My heart was beating far too fast as my eyes focus. 

"Calm down! It's me, Beomgyu." 

I push him away, not wanting him touching me at the moment. My mind was reeling as I brush my hair off my sweat covered forehead. My fear and panic simmering down as I take in the fact there was no longer a threat. My angry though, it was rising. 

"Beomgyu?" 

"Yeah...?" The water Nephalem stood there, hands in the air as he looked me over. 

"Did my father really kill himself?" My eyes come up to meet his. I see a flash of something in them as he realizes I knew. 

"Evelyn... Yeonjun said it would be a mistake to tell you..." 

"Do you think I care what that asshole thinks? I have a right to know what happened to my father!" I throw my blanket off me and make my way towards the door. 

"Wait, let's calm down." Beomgyu cut my path off, his hands still up, trying to show he wasn't trying to be a threat. 

"Do not, tell me to calm the fuck down." I bite out as I shove past him, my mind set on one person at the moment. 

"Yeonjun!" I yell as I make my way towards his room. I fling the door open, the room empty. I turn on my heel, slipping under Beomgyu's arm as he tries to stop me again. 

The dark haired man stands as I storm into the room, a smirk on his face as usual. 

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the be-"

His words were cut off as I sent a punch to his left cheek. His head jerks to the side, everyone in the room stops and takes a sharp breath of air in. 

"What the hell was that for?" He asked as he rubbed at his sore jaw, slowly turning to face me. 

"My father! You all knew how he died yet, no one had the balls to tell me?" Soobin grabs at my arms as I try and get another go at the fallen angel. 

"You clearly can't handle the truth! You're weak! We hid it for your own good, what does you knowing change? His dead, gone! Gone because of you!" 

I jerk back as if he had physically slapped me. I was already blaming myself but, to hear him saying it, made it all too real. 

"Yeonjun..." Soobin let out in a whisper from behind me.

I jerk away from the brunette, keeping my head down as I shove into Yeonjun's arm. Leaving the dorm and heading up a floor, I wasn't going to run off and be reckless, I just needed to get out of there, for just a moment. As soon as I enter the workout studio, I send hit after hit into the sandbag. My hands were aching, my knuckles begging for a break as I kept going for what felt like hours. 

My breathing was labored as I fall to the ground, my head was spinning from all the emotions washing around in it. 

I knew they meant well by hiding what really happened but, he was my father, I should know the truth... 

Was I over reacting? They were not the enemy here. 

When I hear someone coming, I don't make a move to leave. I was being stupid, they meant well by what they did though, Yeonjun, would still be on my bad side for a long time. What he said was the truth but, he had no right to say it. 

Of course the one that came to find me, would be him. I was starting to think the world hated me.