Sweet Emotion

Chapter 41

Y/ns POV

Waking up the next morning next to Rafe was difficult. The moment I opened my eyes everything from last night came rushing back. Including the alcohol.

My head was sore and my eyes hurt. I learned that I have a tendency to clench my teeth while drunk so my whole face hurts.

I feel nauseous and uncomfortable and looking over at Rafe made it worse.

I wanted to be angry with him. I wanted to scream and hit him for being so selfish. For not thinking of me before snorting that first line. For not thinking of himself. For not thinking about any of the problems it could cause after he got his 30 minutes of bliss.

But at the same time I didn't even want to talk about it. I didn't want to bring it up. I wanted to pretend like it didn't happen. Go on like we have been.

But knowing how the drug effects him and other people I know, I know this isn't a one time thing.

Him getting clean was hard and you could tell. Hell Adrian was in rehab for like 4 months because he loved the shit so much.

The loud rain on the roof and thunder crackling now and then wasn't helping my head ache. It was like the weather knew how I felt.

Because how I felt inside is exactly what it looks like outside.

I sighed and stood up going to Rafes bathroom so I could shower.

I made sure to grab a towel, but I had to run outside for my bag with all my makeup and stuff.

Once I was back inside I caught Sarah hungover in the kitchen chugging a bottle of water.

"Sup." She lifted her hand waving happily clearly not have any recollection of what happened last night.

So I nodded her way and continued up the stairs. I wanted to be in the shower before Rafe woke up.

So that was straight where I headed. I turned the shower on as hot as I could with out burning myself and I stood there for what felt like hours. Just letting the water run down my body as I tried to figure out what to do next.

I felt like this was genuinely the first test of our relationship. Obviously I didn't want to leave him. But this is the kind of stuff that has more effect over time rather than instantly.

After standing there and finally accepting that there was no plan for what to do next, I started washing up.

I had to coast. I had to play it by ear before I made the decision to even bring it up.

I needed to see his reaction to things. To see if the alcohol made him forget enough to not know he did coke.

I knew he knew. He had to.

By the time I was done in the shower, I heard rustling in the room.

I took my time, brushing my hair, washing my face, brushing my teeth. It took me about 20 more minutes than it normally would to get ready by the time I was done.

I cleaned up all my stuff still wrapped in a towel before going back to the room.

As soon as I walked out Rafe was next to me. I could see the guilt all over him. In his face and the way his lip quivered like he wanted to say something. The way he rocked back and forth as if he was a toddler getting scolded.

I looked up at him and that just made him faulted more.

Rafes POV

I saw the dark circles under her eyes and an unknowing look behind them.